No. Just no.
I will never understand Israelis. Why do they like white chips of frozen water falling from the sky and break every fucking thing on the ground? Trees breaking, trees falling on cars, on electric poles, busting water pipes, causing power failures, engine failures, schools and businesses being closed…
I get why my dog loves it. She’s half-Husky. Practically a polar panda bear. Snow makes her happy. So happy, it makes her jump for joy. Look how happy she is!
My kid also digs it because building snow-people rules, right?
Well, I hate it. Israelis don’t get it. And those who know me and who know where I come from also don’t get it.
“But you’re CANADIAAAAAN!” They bleat.
Yes, I am Canadian. But it’s because I’ve suffered 15 fucking winters in this desolate snowy wasteland and decided I’ve had enough, that I moved to Israel. To ESCAPE this awful weather. To not have to deal with snow and ice and freezing rain and temperatures cold enough to crystalize ghosts in mid-air.
But lo and behold, the white curse followed me to Jerusalem and I’m buried in ice once again.
I keep seeing pictures of Jerusalemites on my feed. They all look so happy to be playing in the snow, building snow people, playing with their kids and their dogs in the snow, and I’m sitting there on the verge of tears. What’s wrong with people?! Do they have mammoth skin or what?
The after-effect of the storm hit us on Thursday evening when we lost the power in our house and resorted to freezing our asses off because our heaters are all electrical. The waterworks would have eventually broken if my tears weren’t frozen in my tear ducts. I started fantasizing about summer and declared to my husband and my in-laws:
“Fuck this shit. This summer, we are going on a serious hardcore vacation, like Eilat or Tiberias. I don’t care how far away it is and how long it takes to get there. This is where we’re going. And we’ll book a hotel fucking NOW!”
But while summer is not here yet, I couldn’t wait for Friday afternoon when we could escape to the sunny Negev and spend the weekend at my parents’ nice and warm house. And as luck would have it, our car broke down as we made our way there.
“I’ll be damned if the power outage curse didn’t follow us out of Jerusalem too!” I thought, and I hoped that our curse wouldn’t affect my parents’ power.
It didn’t. With my dad’s help, we managed to get to our destination and we enjoyed a nice unfrosty weekend.
[Update about the car: I was eager to get to work this morning so I had to resort to an expensive cab ride at the crack of dawn to make it here on time. But my husband, my kid and my dog are all still stuck in Be’er Sheva, while the car still refuses to work and the mechanics are trying to figure out what’s wrong with it. If you ask me, this car is long overdue for a date with the crusher.]
So all of this was caused as a direct result of the snow storm. I’m so glad that it’s finally melted and the power is back on in my house. I just hope my husband manages to get our gang back home in one piece at some point today. I really want to reclaim our routine. I’m so done with this season. Man, so done with this bitch.
Peace, love and Sun