Shit is going down in America and people are dying while antisemitism is still alive and well, and stupid people don’t vaccinate their kids, feed vegan food to their dogs and cats, and don’t vote, and the world is going to hell, and stupid goddamn winter is almost upon us.

With all this shit, it’s hard to keep on top of my efforts to be positive, but it’s so necessary for my physical and mental health, I’ll keep right on trying.

November is coming up and freezing weather aside, it’s bringing with it a lot of awesome things.

  1. My daughter’s birthday: The best and most important event ever! November 22 was also the day I became a mother, definitely a day worth celebrating. So her Hebrew birthday falls on October 30. The party at daycare will be on November 20, the birthday at my in-laws, most likely on the 21, and the one at my parents’ house on the weekend thereafter (the 23 and 24). Both me and my daughter are super excited about it!
  2. ZineWriMo: Looking over the activities I set up on my schedule, it looks like I’ll be making no less than eight minizines (assuming I can keep with it). Of course, there’s also the full-length work-in-progress zine. Then, the day for teaching someone about zines, I’ll be making a mini-zine with my daughter and let her scribble all over it with her markers. I’m so super stoked about it!
  3. The Fucking King: Right before November starts, Stephen King is releasing a new novel called Elevation. And for me, every “Stephen King Releases a Novel” day is a holiday. Party on!
  4. recipe_559Channukah: Although it falls on the first week of December, it’s still yet another positive thing coming up soon. Having some days off work, lighting the menorah, buying a fancy light-up singing dreidel for my daughter, and of course, stuffing my face with lots of sugary greasy doughnuts with scalding hot jelly inside. FUCK. YES!

So yes, the world is going to hell, but until we get there, I’ll be making zines and loving my daughter and reading King and eating doughnuts.

Peace, love and we Moroccans love our shfinj, too!

And like duh, how can I forget? Sunday Metal is back on November 11! Yes, November officially owns. Raise your horns! \m/


Pride in Jerusalem


I think that everyone around the world already heard about what happened in Jerusalem yesterday.

I was there. I’m still trying to process what happened. The same thing happened in 2005, by the same guy who did the stabbings yesterday. It seems as though no lessons were learned in 10 years.

The march started out at Independence Park. Everyone started marching with a drum circle, music, laughter, dancing, waving flags while shouting and chanting slogans for tolerance, love, diversity and equal rights.

Suddenly, police cars and ambulances rushed through the crowd. Cops on scooters and on horses, or in police units, vans and cars, and on foot urged people to the side and proceeded to the scene of the incident. As word passed down, within minutes everyone knew that a man with a knife stabbed some of the marchers. The music died down almost immediately, the chanting, the dancing and the laughter too. The rest of the march took place in absolute silence. The thousands of marchers were all in shock. Some scattered marchers tried chanting “A gay person marches and is not afraid,” but these were all drained out by the screams of the sirens.

People talk and they say that now that the community knows that being proud and “flaunting it” is dangerous, we would know better than to take it to the streets and instead stay at home, in the closet, in the dark, and let all these hate mongers drag  the rest of this country into the dark as well. This was not a parade. Jerusalem has no floats with half-naked men dancing around. This Pride march in Jerusalem is there for the very struggle of the LGBT community. The only thing being “flaunted” is diversity, beauty, light, courage, pride and love. Lots of love.

I, along with the rest of the LGBT community in Israel, say fuck that. These incidents are exactly the reason why Pride must keep going, year after year. This was the recurring message in the speeches given yesterday. We must fight darkness with light, and we must fight hate with love. A former Knesset member, Nitzan Horovitz, came out a few years ago, and has been a supporter of the LGBT community’s fight for equal rights ever since. He was one of the speakers yesterday. His words were so powerful and resonated so much with what I was feeling, that I couldn’t stop crying during his entire speech.

This is not democracy and it is not Judaism. The Goddess does not create people to kill and be killed. The Goddess loves us all, and She is the only one who has the right to judge us. I don’t care about the abomination statement in the Torah and how homosexuals should be killed. I care that we are human beings, and all we want to do is love. And I also know that if the Goddess was a person, She would march right alongside us.

And yes, I am straight and yes I do say “we” because this is a struggle that we must all take part in. We must recognize our privilege in this society as heterosexuals and join the Pride march as a march for tolerance for all people, all races, all genders and all sexualities. Nitzan Horovitz also said that we must fight this aberration because this affects us all, Israeli Jews and Arabs, black and white, religious and secular, gay and straight. The stabber did not discriminate either. He stabbed anybody he could reach, regardless of whether or not they were gay. I saw one of the injured people in the hospital today. He’s straight, he went to the march with his girlfriend to support this struggle. This is a “we”. We’re all in this together.

The LGBT community in Jerusalem is made up of Israeli Jews just like the rest of us, and they are deserving of equal rights, human rights, love, health services, tolerance, respect and justice. This is not just a struggle for survival. It’s a struggle for the preservation of democracy and against the people who supposedly do these acts of violence in the name of religion.

One of the marchers said in an interview to the press that this is something that happens on Tu Be’Av, a holiday of love, a few days after Tisha Be’Av, a day of mourning the destruction of the Temple, where Orthodox Jews fast as a sign of mourning. She said “This fast is worthless.” Because if the Temple was destroyed because of sinat chinam, hatred between Jews, this is what is still going on today. This act of violence carried out by an Orthodox Jew, who may have very well fasted on Tisha Be’Av, completely obliterated any hope of reconciliation between Jews. This fast was not worth shit.

It was wonderful to see the new group of religious homosexuals marching along with us, and even arguing with the other religious Jews standing on the sidelines. While the sideliners were screaming and spitting at them, the religious homosexuals stood their ground and bravely fought back.

Diversity is what characterizes Jerusalem. The rainbow flags that painted the streets of Jerusalem yesterday proudly represent this diversity. So why did these colors all fade to blood-red? We all saw the blood on the pavement. This is Jewish blood. These are innocent people. The only abomination in this march is the terrorist who infiltrated it. You cannot be a hater and call yourself Jewish. This is not Judaism. I refuse to accept this monster as a member of the Jewish community. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor”? Why can’t these assholes live by that?

When I came back from the march, my husband said he was practicing Queen’s “We Are the Champions” on guitar. And this was totally fitting because despite the rampant homophobia in this society, the LGBT community will keep on fighting to the end.

Peace, love and Ahava Ge’avah

PS – I am currently selling some Alternative Jerusalem postcards on my Etsy shop. The ones that were made about Jerusalem Pride are sold as a fundraising effort. All proceeds will be donated to the Jerusalem Open House, the LGBT organization in Jerusalem. Please support this initiative and buy the postcard.


The New Me


As you noticed, my blog layout is completely different.

For the last few weeks, I’ve felt like a change was needed. And not just a change of blog theme, but a change of perspective on life and a change of how I define myself.

I’ve noticed that the grrrlVIRUS movement has much less importance in my life as the movement itself died. Nobody I know talks about it anymore, there are no new posts on any of the related pages or social networks – it’s simply vanished.

The grrrlVIRUS event that was supposed to take place in Berlin a few years ago never happened, and I was so utterly disappointed by it. I think my lack of interest in the movement started then. That’s besides the point that I was the only active member of the Israeli grrrlVIRUS branch. Forget active, I was the only member. Any demonstration I went to – Slutwalk, Pride, whatever… I was the only one holding a grrrlVIRUS banner, I was the only one giving out flyer and trying to spread the virus. 

I don’t think I burned out. I think the virus simply died. There is no more interest in it and I’m no longer involved.

So I no longer define myself as a grrrlIVIRUS-infected chick. I am still a riot grrrl though. I think my tattoo has never been more accurate as it is now – “a true riot grrrl never dies”. I still listen to the music, I still make zines and I still revel in DIY magic. The main difference between riot grrrl and grrrlVIRUS for me is that the latter was a passing fad, whereas the former was one that shaped me for already 14 years. It’s not something that will simply disappear, or die just as easily. I’m still a feminist, and riot grrrl is the movement that defines feminism for me.

Back of VestMy patches vest has a large print of the grrrlVIRUS logo on the back, and I’ve been considering covering it with another large patch. I’m not sure which one yet. I’ve been considering either Mercyful Fate, Amon Amarth or a classic one of Arch Enemy, like from Wages of Sin or something. I also need to remove the grrrlVIRUS patch from the bottom right of the vest and replace it with something else. 

For my blog, I changed the description of “The Badass” on the top right. No mention of grrrlVIRUS is made, and I’ve added some things that I identify with more and that define me in my current state, based on my current interests.

I’ve also been considering changing the picture and the text in the page “About the Badass.” It will be a little more detailed and a little less pretentious.

As a little yet important change – I no longer wear the typewriter necklace I’ve been wearing for the past five years. I still love typewriters and still use my own when I produce zines or write letters, but the necklace is now faded and worn out. I am now wearing a Thor’s Hammer pendent that I recently bought online. It’s a similar one that Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth) wears onstage.

Aside from that, I feel the need to detatch myself from people who are too left wing. I simply can’t stand just how hateful some of these people can get. I’ve been right wing since I moved to Israel, and I’ve been Zionist for as long as I can remember. The reason I added these people in the first place was because we had other things in common – feminism, metal, punk, zines, pro-GLBT sentiments, etc. But when it comes to nationalism, they couldn’t piss me off more. During the latest conflict with Gaza, a shitload of infuriatingly ignorant, naive, and shockingly anti-Semitic posts flooded my Facebook and my WordPress feed. I have some friends who are left wing but still level headed. These will remain my friends. But as for the ones who can’t stand to say the word “Zionist” without adding “equals Nazi”, they can fuck off.  I already unfriended one of these people on Facebook. I need to weed out the rest.

I needed this redefinition to reclaim my balance, put my identity in focus, and admit to myself that this is who I am. No matter who I’ve been and what I said and what I wrote in the past, my present is the only thing that matters.

Peace, love and change is good.

Saved by the Divinity


The war in Israel is still going on and the anti-Israel world is still going shithouse. As if this wasn’t predictable.

But I recently realized something amazing. If I had been accepted to that German internship that I applied for last year, I would be in Germany now, along with other Israelis who may very well be extreme leftists and a group of Palestinians who may also be anti-Israel, and I would be in the midst of an extremely charged political climate which causes Europeans to gravitate to the anti side rather than the pro. And I would be utterly miserable. I mean,  in devastatingly sheer and complete misery. And I would be in it for a full six months. That’s besides the fact that I would worry myself into psychological oblivion thinking about my family in Be’er Sheva under constant fire and missing my boyfriend and my dog.

However! As if I needed any further proof of the Mother Goddess’s existence, She saved me from this misery and borderline insanity by making the organizers decline my application for the program. And now I am in Israel, which is truly the only place in the world where I can feel safe as a Zionist Jew and support my troops with pride.

As I am still going to Germany from July 29 to August 7, I will most likely be forced to hide my identity. I am even inclined to speak to my boyfriend in English during our stay in Europe, which is rather upsetting to say the least. But at least it will be for only 10 days and not six months. And then, I will return to Israel in one piece and resume my unyielding support for my country and its armed forces.

May the Goddess see Her Chosen People through it all.

Peace, love and amen.

Code Red


And we’re back. Gone full circle once again. And for the millionth time since Israel’s creation, missiles are flying, people are dying, and the world media is being a totally biased bitch.

And all the posts I see on Facebook are about how Israel is being violent for no apparent reason (ahem), and how all the naive leftist idiots think we should just sit back and let Hamas have their fun.

Well, I don’t give a flying rocket about anything except for the following:

1) My parents are in Be’er Sheva. This past Shabbat, they invited my grandmother to the safety of their shelter room. Then I hear a direct hit in Be’er Sheva destroyed a house and injured an 80-year old woman. Luckily, it wasn’t who I thought it was.

2) My parents are still under fire. I haven’t seen my mom for the past 10 days and I haven’t seen my dad for the past month if not more. And the fear that keeps everyone in Israel within close proximity to a secure location in case of a siren will also keep my parents in Be’er Sheva and will keep me in Jerusalem.

3) There have only been three sirens in Jerusalem since round million and one started, and most of the rockets were either thwarted by iron dome or fell in open areas or fell in Palestinian territory (and, riddle me this, it goes to show how Hamas just doesn’t give a shit about their own people, so why the fuck should we?). During the first siren, I was home, so running to the shelter wasn’t much of a problem. On the second one, I was at the bus station downtown, and scrambled into Hamashbir’s staircase as a last resort. The third one happened while we were at the dog park. With no secure location in sight, I grabbed my dog and hid under a concrete table listening to the explosions filling the air as the dogs started barking and Diamond jerked in my arms with a silent whimper.

4) Despite the low rate of sirens in Jerusalem, I jump out of my skin every time I hear something that remotely sounds like the beginning of a siren – a truck or a motorcycle speeding off on the road below, the high-pitched cry of a gust of wind, a song that opens with a siren (Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs”, Arch Enemy’s “Blood on Your Hands”, etc.). Good times.

5) I haven’t been to see the eye doctor yet as a follow-up to my cataract surgery because the only appointments I managed to get were in Rechovot, and there is no way in all the rubble that people’s houses are being reduced to that I will ever take a bus and ride on in an open road while weather forecasts show 100% chance of rocket showers.

6) I am set to go to Germany on July 29. Since Israel is planning a ground strike on Gaza (something I am rather opposed to), I don’t see how this is going to end anytime before my trip. My boyfriend, my dog and I will have no choice but take our chances on the open road to go to Be’er Sheva, drop Diamond off at my parents’ house so they can look after her while we’re away, then take the train to Ben Gurion airport. Once on the plane, I will most likely be so nervous I’ll be throwing my guts up until we’re well past Israel’s airspace. Once in Germany, my sleeve tattoo (with the Star of David) will remain nice and hidden the entire time. And I’ll keep being nervous that my parents are still in the line of fire, this time with my dog who will hear more sirens and louder explosions than she is used to (and she is used to it as we are because we always hear gunfire and fireworks in Gilo).

7) About this ground strike – yes, I am opposed to it. I mean if we can significantly reduce Hamas’s manpower and rocket reserves from the safety of our fighter planes, I think we should stick with that plan. With a ground strike, the death toll on both sides will rise, and there is no doubt that the world community will go shithouse and resume their antisemitic oral defecation with more fervor than ever. But as mentioned above, no flying shrapnel will be given by me when it comes to the world community. Hell, if all Israel ever did was listen to the world, we wouldn’t survive a day, and we’ll be just as big of wusses as the pot-smoking leftist hippies want us to be.

8) For another kind of code RED: Aunt Flo visited me twice this month. Fuck me.

So I’ll just keep about my usual business until the next siren or anything that sounds like it will make my heart miss a couple of arrhythmic beats and make my head spin with a heavy adrenaline OD. This usual business includes new songs on my iPod to listen to (namely Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Slayer and Horrorpops) new Stephen King books to be ordered (online this time because Steimatzky is starting to piss me off), new adventures to embark on (Germany trip and Wacken festival), and a new zine to be written (all about the trip to Germany, snail mail love and art, and the joys of Washi tapes).

Peace, love, and I’m starting to think that I’m not getting any mail because my penpals decided to jump on the “boycott Israel” bandwagon.

Slutwalk Jerusalem 2013


So I went to Slutwalk in Jerusalem this past Friday. It was hot and sunny and awesome, and I totally forgot to bring a water bottle. That was bad because after shouting a bunch of slogans and walking around for an hour in the sweltering scorching sun, your throat turns into the Sinai desert.

But the rest was cool. There were great people, lots of male support, which was incredible, and there was even this one woman wearing modest clothes, which was even more amazing because of the diversity displayed.

The only thing that kind of bothered me (and that’s the same thing that bothers me in any feminist initiative in Israel) is how left-wing the crowd was. I understand that feminism is a left-wing movement, but in Israel, it always comes loaded with pro-Palestinian, sometimes even anti-Zionist overtones and rhetoric. I tried my best to avoid that and focused on the purely feminist aspects.

I wore my t-shirt with the slogan “Think Outside the Cocks” surrounded by a square of dicks. And my friend Deb wore one that says “I ❤ female orgasm”. Both of us got some really nice compliments about these and some people took pictures of our t-shirts.

Here are the pics:


Note the tall guy with the heels!

Note the tall guy with the heels!







A photo by Guy Butavia. In this one you can see the religious lady with the headscarf and modest attire.

A photo by Guy Butavia. In this one you can see the religious lady with the headscarf and modest attire.

Me and Deb and the shirts

Me and Deb and the shirts

Peace, love and consent

Blackbeard for PM


Election time is coming up in Israel and I have yet to figure out which douchebag I should vote for. Though one thing is for sure, and here it is…

Yesterday, I was sick as hell and it’s a good thing I finished work early and headed home when it was still light out. I had my earphones in, blasting some Ozzy, and thinking about getting to the nearest bathroom as soon as possible because I drowned myself in fluids the entire morning. I heard someone calling out my name on the street, but since I moved to Israel, I got used to hearing my name a lot. Hadass is a common name in Israel. It’s not like when I lived in Montreal and if I heard my name on the street, chances are the call was directed at me. So I kept on walking, ignoring the call. And then someone tapped my shoulder.

“Hey,” said a guy with a bike helmet on. I couldn’t tell who it was until he took it off. And when he did, I regretted ever stopping in the first place. It was my (stoned, alcoholic, sexually abusive, ADHD-inflicted, sorry ass excuse for a human being) former roommate. I bump into him more often than I’d like to, and yesterday, with my burning throat and bladder pressure, he was the last person I wanted to see.

“Oh hey,” I said with distinct disappointment.

“What’s up?”

What’s up is you should get back on that bike and ride the fuck off, I thought. “Nothing. You?” I asked with no real interest.

“Good,” he said. “Hey listen, I’m running in the elections!”

Well, of course you are. You are douchebag extraordinaire! I thought, but instead said “Oh.”

“Vote for us,” he continued. “The party is called ‘The Pirates.'”

“The Pirates?” I said with a raised eyebrow and a sarcastic tone rather than a questioning one.

“Yes, vote for us. It’s important.”

Right… it’s important. I’ll remember that name when I head for the ballots and pick out a Prime Minister by elimination. The Pirates would probably be the first to be crossed off. So what are they gonna do exactly? Look for treasure? Make everyone wear eye-patches? Make “Talk Like a Pirate Day” a national holiday?

Sure, very important indeed. Forget fighting the rocket showers, or improving the economy, reducing unemployment, fighting crime, dealing with the Iranian nuclear threat… that’s nowhere nearly as important as redesigning the flag with a skull and crossbones, arrrgh!

Actually, I don’t know what their policies are, but with a name like “The Pirates,” which is a name commonly used to describe a group of thieving, scheming criminals, I feel kinda reluctant to have those run my country.

And considering the head of that party, a turd sandwich seems like a more sensible choice.

“Right, I’ll try to remember that,” I said, trying to hide my sarcastic tone with great difficulty.

But I guess that’s the price of democracy – you get a wide range of idiots to choose from, and an even wider range of idiots voting for them.

Peace, love and as the song in South Park goes:

“Let’s go out and vote,
Let’s make our voices heard.
We’ve been given the right to choose
Between a douche and a turd.
It’s democracy in action,
Put your freedom to the test.
A big fat turd or a stupid douche,
Which do you like best.”