Crazy Ozzy

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Ozzy Osbourne performed in Israel last night as part of his farewell tour. The 70-year-old rocker kicked all fucking ass, and I was blown away by just how hard a 70-year-old dude can rock. He started off with Bark at the Moon which got me going right from the start.

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Before he came on, there was a performance by Orphaned Land which I had absolutely no interest in. Since they started incorporating Middle Eastern instrumentation and vocals in their songs, I was interested in them even less.

I was not surprised by the crowd, but it was still a great feeling to see that most of it was made up of old people. Many of the concerts we go to, I find myself surrounded by kids, adolescent kids, pre-army or fresh out of the army, and it makes me feel old. But last night, at the Ozzy show, gray hair was all around.

The Prince of Fucking Darkness kept encouraging the crowd to scream louder and louder, so losing my voice was inevitable, especially as I had spent the past couple of days coughing my lungs out for god knows what reason. And songs like Crazy Train, War Pigs, and Fairies Wear Boots got me headbanging till my neck felt like a limp noodle. The last song, Paranoid, even got me jumping around.

Due to my coughing fits of the last two days, I also didn’t get any sleep, and I was tired as fuck when we got to the park where the show took place. But Ozzy was so phenomenal that I forgot all about my exhaustion and proceeded to “going fucking crazy” as Ozzy is wont to say.

Also the light show that accompanied every song got me all woozy. At some point, I actually wished for a toke. I can only imagine what the light show coupled with the amazing music would have done to me if I was high.

The only thing I didn’t like about the show was the guitar. More specifically, the guitarist, Zakk Wylde. I mean, fine, he’s talented, we got that. But goddamnit, this was an OZZY  show, not a Zakk Wylde one and not a Black Label Society one. And his solos just drilled into my brain and I was getting bored and restless. Suddenly, I started wishing for Slash to go onstage and replace him. Slash played with Ozzy when we saw him at Hellfest in 2012 and that was amazing. Slash plays in a way that makes you say “WHOA” without him shredding the fucking strings and without using his teeth and WITHOUT TAKING OVER THE SHOW THAT BELONGS TO OZZY! Zakk Wylde, take note.

But besides that, the show owns.

I got home all sweaty, with the humid Rishon air still stuck to my skin. Said humid air also did a number on my hair and the headbanging just added to that number. I don’t know how anybody can live in the Center, seriously.

I can’t wait until my daughter is old enough so that I could bring her with me to concerts and show her what good music really is.

Peace, love and ALL ABOARD!!!!!!!!

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Hell Is in the Air (France)

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Arch Enemy sure did kick up some dust. Now that it settled, I can resume normalcy until the next sandstorm comes around, i.e. HELLFEST!

Since it’s still some five months away, all I have left to do is hope none of the bands I want to see there drop out or drop dead. That’s not too far-fetched seeing as the two biggest ones I am looking forward to are over 50 years old – that’s King Diamond (56, with back problems) and Black Sabbath (Ozzy is 64 and Toni, the guitarist, has cancer).

At Graspop, last year, Ozzy was gonna perform, but then cancelled. I hope Hellfest will turn out better.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I bought the tickets, and we are now looking into hotels, which involves some back and forth inquiries about the location of the festival, proximity of the hotels, availability, and stuff.

Looking up hotels in Clisson, France, I found two links, both of them to the same fucking hotel. “OK, so Clisson is such a lost city, it has only one hotel,” I thought. “Well, that sure saved me some dilemmas.” *sarcastic frown*

But then, as I found out the exact location of the festival (no thanks to my poor understanding of the French emails I received from Hellfest management), I looked it up on the map, and by total chance, I stumbled upon a nearby hostel. If I read the map correctly, the hostel is literally within walking distance of the festival grounds. Thank you Google Maps, for your icon of a stick figure sleeping in a bed.

I hope things work out. Bands will perform, weather conditions will be comfortable, anti-Semitism will go on strike for a bit. And I hope that if we go to a restaurant and I order a salad, I won’t find any fried snails or frog legs in it. I can dig Thousand Island dressing, but no dead things that were once alive and crawling or bouncing shall go in my salad.

Peace, love, and I better polish up my French.

UPDATE: Hotels fell through. As we should have expected, they were fully booked for Hellfest season. Looks like we’ll be sleeping in a car. That should make for a nice, long, ranty/good times post.