Summer is finally here, thank the good Goddess, and summer events in Jerusalem are right around the corner. The ones that I love most are Slutwalk, LGBT Pride, and the annual Artists’ Fair at the Sultan’s Pool. I don’t always attend them, but I still try my best because having a life outside of my mother-of-a-toddler one is necessary for my sanity and emotional wellbeing.

Before they announced the final dates for Slutwalk and Pride, I knew that most of the time, Slutwalk takes place around the end of May, and Pride sometime around early August. As it turns out this year, Slutwalk is happening on May 24, but Pride will be a couple of weeks later on June 6. This gave me an idea for a zine that I could write in July during International Zine Month.

I already have a postcard collection I call Alternative Jerusalem, so why not have a zine to go along with that? If I can, in fact, make it to these two events and take a few pictures and write some stuff about my experience, it would be nice to add it to a new issue of my zine.

The Artists’ Fair is always around August, so adding it to said zine will not work if I plan to write it in July. And I’m not even sure I’ll want to go. I almost never do if neither Aviv Geffen nor Hayehudim are on the bill. I made the mistake of going once to see Barry Sacharof and wanted to kill myself the whole night, as his entire musical set was made so disgustingly Middle Eastern that it made my ears bleed. But if I find out that Aviv Geffen or Hayehudim are planning to make an appearance at the Fair, I will definitely consider going, and maybe I’ll put off the release of the zine in order to add a segment about the show too.

And if Ka wills it and my husband and I make it to Sunday Metal Night at Blaze Bar between now and then, a segment about that is also in order.

Yes, that will be one awesome Alternative Jerusalemite Summer and one awesome kickass zine to go along with it!

Peace, love and fuck yeah summer!!!

Get messy and follow the bleeder: Like my page, PMS Mess!


Ram It Down


Ever since my high school years, when Rammstein’s Du Hast gained global recognition, it seemed as though they also gained global condemnation and were accused of having Nazi imagery in their videos.

When I interned at the Jerusalem Post, the entertainment’s editor was convinced that they were Nazi and stated it as a clear and undeniable fact.

I was never really sure whether or not Rammstein is a Nazi band. I never read much into any of their videos, including the controversial one for Links 2-3-4, and their lyrics always seemed to be more sexist rather than racist. In fact, I always said “I don’t think Rammstein are Nazis. They’re just a bunch of crazy European perverts.” Consider songs like Rein Raus, Zwitter, Pussy, and countless others. But crazy Europeans or not, I love the shit out of their tunes. The way they synchronize the staccato bass and guitar riffs with their drum blasts is flawless. I also have a weakness for the German language and find it absolutely beautiful and lyrical. Rammstein fucking owns it.

Now that the video for their new single Deutschland came out, I’m not so sure about their Nazi status. The video does not have Nazi imagery this time, but actually has Nazis in it, wearing Nazi emblems, and executing the band members who are wearing the well-known striped uniforms of victims of the Holocaust and their respective symbols (the yellow star for Jews, the pink triangle for homosexuals…).

An article I read about this video asks relevant and justifiable questions about these controversial scenes: “Have Rammstein the right to do this? Do they trivialize the suffering of Holocaust victims? How can they justify using Holocaust imagery to promote their new video? These are important questions that are part of a much bigger debate about the ethics of using the Holocaust in art and media.”

Now, although I have my doubts about the political affiliation of the members of the band, the video itself traces the history of Germany ever since the time of the Roman Empire, and it would make sense for them to include the period of 1933 to 1945, as it is also a part of German history. In fact, I think that if that period were not included, I would feel even more offended. This would simply be a denial of the whole thing. Isn’t Holocaust denial just as bad as trivializing it in a music video?

The article I read fails to mention another part of the video where the camp inmates, still wearing their striped uniforms, are shooting the Nazi officers in the face. That made me stand up and scream “Fuck yeah!”

So considering this particular scene, what does that say? What’s that imagery all about? To me it’s clear Nazi-bashing, if anything, and also fitting with Germany’s history. Again, avoiding this part of history could easily be interpreted as Holocaust denial.

With all that, the more I listen to the song, the more I like it. And the rest of the video is spectacular. I love history. I took a history minor in university and loved every minute of it. Seeing it play out in a video with such a great song is a pure pleasure for me.

But still, I don’t know what I should think and how I should feel about this. So until Rammstein makes a clear statement, one way or another, or comes to play a show in Israel (which I think would be a clear statement in itself), I’ll just go on screaming “fuck yeah” every time one of their songs comes on my player.

Negative Creep


Whenever I feel like shit, I usually resort to two things which automatically make me feel better: Music and books.

However, I’ve recently come to realize that both of these can also cause a shitty feeling when they’re associated with such a heavy load of negativity, it hurts my head.

The books I read are all by Stephen King. The guy writes horror like too much of a pro, and his descriptions are brutal. So when he describes the death of a child, or the death of a dog, or the death of a major character, it makes me feel horrible, because he makes it seem all too real.

Then, there’s music. I absolutely LOVE the music I listen to. But sometimes the songs take on a darker tone when I think of the respective artist or band.

  • Kurt Cobain is dead, with the shadow of drug abuse and suicide looming above him
  • Janis Joplin is dead, also with the shadow of drug addiction and overdose
  • Jim Morrison is dead, with the shadow of a lifetime of substance abuse
  • Jimi Hendrix is dead, same drug-shadow looms again
  • Chuck Schuldiner is dead, with the enormous shadow of cancer looming high and mighty
  • Tristessa of Astarte is dead, same gigantic shadow of cancer
  • Mia Zapata is dead, with the even more monstrous shadow of brutal rape and murder above her grave
  • Decapitated’s drummer is dead and their lead vocalist is a vegetable
  • Michael Jackson is also dead, and seems like even after his death, the grim shadow of his alleged child-molestation charges still sticks to him like a leech
  • All punk and riot grrrl bands I listen to have broken up, so did Black Sabbath, and so did Arafel
  • Arch Enemy sold out
  • Phil Anselmo is a white supremacist
  • Rammstein are (allegedly) Nazis
  • Marilyn Manson’s lost his fucking mind…

Why do my favorite means of escape have to be tainted with so much bullshit? Still, I love all of these artists and their music, and still I love Stephen King’s books. And if I didn’t have that, I might as well go coffin-shopping, because seriously, life without music and books is a fate worse than suffering.

I need to go see Disturbed’s performance in July to hold on to the belief that there are bands out there who have not died, or got sick, or OD’ed, or sold out, or became hateful bastards, or broke up.

And I need to get a new Stephen King book because, well, just because. As if I need a reason to get another King book. His fiction owns my reality, and that’s a fact.

Peace, love and death metal for life

Headbanger’s Bag


Taking time off from zinestering gave me the chance to focus on other projects.

For the past two days, I’ve been working on sewing patches on my new bag. At first, I wanted my mom to sew them for me with her sewing machine because my fingers may refuse to function. But it didn’t work out. And as my activity of the previous two days proved my finger-disfunction assumption to be almost right, I still managed to prove to myself that I can sew. Even if my fingers got all red, and the patches came out a little crooked, it worked out pretty well. I also added some cool pins on the part of the bag that is under the top flap. That part that is too small for patches ut perfect for pins.

I love the hell out of it and it looks totally DIY and totally badass.



A bag worthy of a metalhead!

Peace, love and off to put my fingers in ice

ZineWriMo Lite 2018 Recap


This recap post came a little late, but no biggie.

I liked ZineWriMo. It’s the first time I do it. And like International Zine Month, I take any opportunity I can get and any excuse I can come up with just to make a zine. Of course, I can make a zine without making up any excuses, but months like International Zine Month and ZineWriMo also give me things that I don’t get during any other month of the year – incentive and inspiration. Seeing posts and accomplishments by other zinesters inspires me to take part in the challenge, however minimal that part is, and no matter how “lite” I make the challenge. Like I said in one of the posts of my pre-motherhood years, I create for the sake of creating.

So here is what I did manage to create this month:

  1. I made mini-zine blanks. I didn’t fill them all, but between now and July, if I feel like making a mini zine, I have blanks already ready.
  2. I connected with a couple of zine makers. Nyx of Sea Green Zines is a zinester I heard lots about but never got a chance to connect with. Nyx wrote the list of ZineWriMo’s prompts I tried to follow, so there was my chance. And like IZM, I connected with of Nina of Echo. It’s always a treat to connect and trade with her.
  3. Mini zines I made: Stream of Consciousness writing, a color zine and a zine-tools zine. I had plans for many others but it didn’t pan out. I still have the zine blanks, so maybe at a later date.
  4. I taught my daughter about zines, more specifically mini zines. I showed her how to make a blank (she’s two years old so she might need a few more lessons to get it right), and I let her scribble with her markers all over the pages. It’s wonderful! A true zinester in the making!
  5. I tried blogging about everything as I went along in my month. And I wrote this wrap-up post, too.
  6. Last but not least – I made a full length zine! The theme is my metalhead life, what I love about metal, my favorite bands, my favorite genres, shows and metal fests I’ve been to, and a bunch of other stuff. I didn’t even write about everything included in my brainstorming of the first day and it still came out a mammoth-size zine, 56 pages, including a comics, a poem, a collage spread over two pages, nice, bulky and text-heavy just the way I like it. Hoping, of course, that you will like it too! It is now in the print shop (sorry I don’t have any scans for you yet, but it’s coming, I promise!) and will be ready for trading starting tomorrow. So hit me up if you’d like to trade some zine awesomeness.

There are some prompts that I found to be so super awesome, but alas, didn’t get a chance to do them during this month. So I’m saving them for later if I manage to find some free time. These are:

  1. A mini zine of snacks of choice
  2. Double-sided mini zine
  3. Read zines: I hope to do that once I get my traded zines
  4. Make a zine about someone awesome in your life: I want to make one about my daughter. Maybe not a mini zine but a second issue of Ima Badass? We’ll see.
  5. Make a zinemaker’s travel kit: I thought this is a wonderful idea, but not relevant to me right now as I never traveled anywhere once I got pregnant, and may never travel anywhere until my daughter is old enough to sit still on the plane. Still a marvelous idea and an excuse to buy myself a new bag or purse, and decorate it with a bunch of pins and patches!

I had a great time with ZineWriMo! Creating for the sake of creating makes life worth living.

Hope to see you all again in July for International Zine Month!

Peace, love and ich schwimme im benZINE!

Almost There, Dudes


I’m writing this post via my phone because my internet connection at home is busted. So I’ll make this short.

I didn’t finish my zine yet but I don’t have much left. I managed to number the pages on Friday (the final number is 56 pages of wholesome metal badassery). All I have left to do is the Table of Contents which I hope to do today, and send it off to the printer tomorrow!!

Any requests for trades may commence now. I’d love to see how your zines turned out too!

I also hope to write my ZineWriMo recap post at some point tomorrow when our internet will be up and running again. I fucking hate writing on my phone.

Peace, love and happy sufgies