Caution: Artivism Ahead!

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I decided to go ahead with a list of re-zine-lutions anyway, as ideas are coming and going through my head and if I don’t write them down, they might be doing more “going” than “coming” and never come back.  Some of these already appear in my previous post, and also in my diary, but yeah, I want them all together in here.

So this is what I hope to accomplish this year somewhere in between Load of Laundry One and Load of Laundry Two.

  1. Write and publish a new issue of Purple Moon Spawn
  2. Participate in International Zine Month
  3. Give Inktober a shot, even if I suck at drawing
  4. Participate in ZineWriMo
  5. Make at least three mini zines
  6. Make a new flyer for PMS Mess
  7. Contact new zinesters for trades
  8. If number 7 accomplished, make a zine-review zine about zines traded
  9. Reorganize my zine collection (and make sure to stack it up high enough so Little Miss Demolition Toddler won’t get at it)
  10. Set Monday as my zinestering day and fuck all other house chores and obligations
  11. Update and print my PMS Mess catalog for 2019 (preferably do this at the end of the year so that all my new zines and creations appear in it too)
  12. Revive my journaling flame and record accomplishments as they come
  13. Make another mini-zine with my daughter (a.k.a. Little Miss Demolition Toddler)

Tips for keeping a creative frame-of-mind:

  • If feeling uninspired, reread “Overthrow the Status Quo” by Nyxia Grey – the most inspiring zine in the world if there ever was one!
  • Light scented candles and keep them nearby
  • Use every free moment at the office to draw/write something
  • Turn off my goddamn phone

I may have more ideas flowing in soon, and if they do, I’ll add them in my journal and thus stick to the activity of number 12.

Wish me luck!

Peace, love and kickassery shall prevail!

 


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ZineWriMo Lite 2018 Recap

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This recap post came a little late, but no biggie.

I liked ZineWriMo. It’s the first time I do it. And like International Zine Month, I take any opportunity I can get and any excuse I can come up with just to make a zine. Of course, I can make a zine without making up any excuses, but months like International Zine Month and ZineWriMo also give me things that I don’t get during any other month of the year – incentive and inspiration. Seeing posts and accomplishments by other zinesters inspires me to take part in the challenge, however minimal that part is, and no matter how “lite” I make the challenge. Like I said in one of the posts of my pre-motherhood years, I create for the sake of creating.

So here is what I did manage to create this month:

  1. I made mini-zine blanks. I didn’t fill them all, but between now and July, if I feel like making a mini zine, I have blanks already ready.
  2. I connected with a couple of zine makers. Nyx of Sea Green Zines is a zinester I heard lots about but never got a chance to connect with. Nyx wrote the list of ZineWriMo’s prompts I tried to follow, so there was my chance. And like IZM, I connected with of Nina of Echo. It’s always a treat to connect and trade with her.
  3. Mini zines I made: Stream of Consciousness writing, a color zine and a zine-tools zine. I had plans for many others but it didn’t pan out. I still have the zine blanks, so maybe at a later date.
  4. I taught my daughter about zines, more specifically mini zines. I showed her how to make a blank (she’s two years old so she might need a few more lessons to get it right), and I let her scribble with her markers all over the pages. It’s wonderful! A true zinester in the making!
  5. I tried blogging about everything as I went along in my month. And I wrote this wrap-up post, too.
  6. Last but not least – I made a full length zine! The theme is my metalhead life, what I love about metal, my favorite bands, my favorite genres, shows and metal fests I’ve been to, and a bunch of other stuff. I didn’t even write about everything included in my brainstorming of the first day and it still came out a mammoth-size zine, 56 pages, including a comics, a poem, a collage spread over two pages, nice, bulky and text-heavy just the way I like it. Hoping, of course, that you will like it too! It is now in the print shop (sorry I don’t have any scans for you yet, but it’s coming, I promise!) and will be ready for trading starting tomorrow. So hit me up if you’d like to trade some zine awesomeness.

There are some prompts that I found to be so super awesome, but alas, didn’t get a chance to do them during this month. So I’m saving them for later if I manage to find some free time. These are:

  1. A mini zine of snacks of choice
  2. Double-sided mini zine
  3. Read zines: I hope to do that once I get my traded zines
  4. Make a zine about someone awesome in your life: I want to make one about my daughter. Maybe not a mini zine but a second issue of Ima Badass? We’ll see.
  5. Make a zinemaker’s travel kit: I thought this is a wonderful idea, but not relevant to me right now as I never traveled anywhere once I got pregnant, and may never travel anywhere until my daughter is old enough to sit still on the plane. Still a marvelous idea and an excuse to buy myself a new bag or purse, and decorate it with a bunch of pins and patches!

I had a great time with ZineWriMo! Creating for the sake of creating makes life worth living.

Hope to see you all again in July for International Zine Month!

Peace, love and ich schwimme im benZINE!

ZineWriMo: A Little Free

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This morning, I decided to digress from my zine-making ritual a little. But that wasn’t sacrilegious as I did it to make more time for actual zine-production. Instead of taking care of things like laundry, cooking and dishes, and start working at 9:15 a.m., I said “fuck laundry, fuck cooking and fuck the dishes,” and started working at 8:30 a.m.

Also, I said “fuck it if I’m late to the office,” and added another 15 minutes to my work on my zine.

However, I still didn’t manage to finish it. So far, I laid out only half of it (and it looks bitchin!). I hope to continue working on it now, while I’m at the office, but I might run into a bunch of interruptions because we have a new client and I need to close a month, and bla bla bla…

I’m thinking, if tomorrow, Friday, my daughter decides to play by herself with the huge pile of new toys she got for her birthday, I might be able to squeeze in a bit of zine-production in between all of my maternal duties (it should be noted that saying “fuck my maternal duties” is not an option, and might actually be sacrilegious), and before Sabbath starts. Ah, the joys of being a zinester mother of a two-year-old.

If it doesn’t work out, it’s ok. I have a few days off work next week for Channukah, while my daughter still has daycare. So I basically have a few full days all to myself (full, that is, until 3:45 p.m. when I need to go pick up my daughter from daycare). Even though it won’t be within the borders of November proper and thus, not a part of ZineWriMo anymore, zine-production has no time limits and no deadlines. So fuck November too. I’ll be zinestering into December and that’s ok.

Besides, zine-production on Channukah should rule! I’ll get powdered sugar and jelly smears all over the pages, and maybe even some colorful candlewax. And my fingers will get all sticky and I’ll try to figure out if it’s from all the jelly or all the glue. Awesome!

Peace, love and since I can’t set my zine free today, I’ll give you a taste. Here’s the cover!

cover

ZineWriMo: Baby Zinester

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I was sick yesterday, so I didn’t do anything. I didn’t go to work and slept most of the time. But I felt better later on in the day.

20181113_164834I picked my daughter up from daycare and during a momentary lapse of my attention, she stole one of my mini-zine blanks. So I let her have it and gave her her set of markers. She’s a week away from being 2 years old and she made her very first zine yesterday!

In fact, she loved it so much, she asked me to make another blank for her. So I showed her how to do it, making sure that she knows the cutting part is something that only mommy does and she’s not allowed to use scissors. She scribbled all over the place and got some marker ink on the table, but it was such a treat for me to watch her having so much fun with it!

So I guess that was my activity for yesterday: teaching my daughter about zines and making one with her. Welcome to the zinester community, my lovely baby girl!

Peace, love and snails and turtles

Metalhorns With Baby Fingers

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Juggling being an active zinester artist with being a mother is tricky. But juggling being an active metalhead with being a mother is damn near impossible.

Whereas I can easily use my free mornings for zine-production every once in a while, the metalhead life is mostly a nightly deal. But my nights are packed to the rim with maternal duties.

Joy to the Jerusalemite Metalheads, Blaze Bar has reopened and is once again reinstating the occasional Sunday Metal Nights. But just like before, the problem for me is finding a suitable arrangement for my daughter. She doesn’t like strangers, so I can’t get a random babysitter to drop by and look after her. And also, she doesn’t fall asleep in a place or a room that isn’t her own, so I can’t drop her off at my mother-in-law while I go off to my headbanging life.

I can’t believe I’m actually considering taking her with me to the metal bar, but I’m fucking desperate. I miss my metal nights and I miss the guys. And I would really like to introduce her to the metal scene a bit more. She seems to like heavy music. Nirvana is her favorite, and she took to Arch Enemy almost immediately (she calls them Angela, of course she does, since the Arch Enemy of Angela is the real Arch Enemy).

But then, there is a slew of other issues to consider. For one, and the most problematic one, is the cigarette smoke that is prevalent in the whole place. Toxic, dangerous, smelly as fuck, and doesn’t ever leave your hair, your clothes, your skin… You go to bed smelling worse than your own child’s diaper after a bean-soup dinner. So exposing my daughter to that is just really bad parenting.

Then, there is the loud music. At home, she listens to Nirvana and Arch Enemy at a normal volume and happily headbangs to it. But at the bar, she would most likely need headphones, and even if I do manage to find a pair made for babies, could I be completely sure that she would even agree to wear them at all times? Hell fucking no. I’d be lucky if she agrees to keep a hat on her head. Which brings me to the next problem.

It’s October. Jerusalem nights have become cold. Very very cold. Even if I were to bundle my kid up in a heavy winter coat and a tuque and a scarf, I would still be worried about her catching a cold. This is the time of year when viruses become ravenous, and the young make easy prey. Exposing her to this fucking freezing air is bad parenting yet again.

Finally, Metal Night starts around 9:00 p.m. and gets really good around 10:00. My kid’s bedtime is 8:30 p.m. After that, she becomes cranky and miserable. If she goes to sleep too late, she has trouble waking up the next day, so we have to wake her up which means she will be cranky and miserable for the rest of the day. It’s her routine, and anyone disturbing it will ultimately know her unabated wrath.

But I miss my metal night. I miss my nightlife. And I miss Blaze, for fuck’s sake.

Peace, love and my neck needs a break, literally.

Holicraze

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Every time someone asks me “How did you pass the holidays?” I say “It passed.”

And thank the good Goddess it did. FUCK! It was so long! Too long. Way too long.

I don’t know why this year it seemed much longer than in previous years. It could be because every holiday started on Sunday night, so it would just be an extension of the Sabbath and seemed to go on forever.

It might also be because my daughter is nearing 2 years and being an active little cookie, she was bored out of her mind, bouncing off the walls, and not going to daycare. So every day, we struggled to find ways to entertain her.

The days simply crawled by. Towards the end of the exhausting ordeal, Elad went to play basketball in the park. He told me about one of the guys he played with who said “I’m so bummed that the holidays are over next week!” My husband replied to him “You don’t have kids, do you?”

(Cue hysterical laughter)

September 27 was the day of the Rally for fallen soldiers and their families. You might remember my rant in one of my previous posts where I was convinced I would make a fool of myself while giving my speech at the event. However, this day went by far more smoothly than I could have ever imagined. And it so happened that I did NOT make a complete fool of myself! Quite the contrary, in fact. I didn’t stutter or trip on my words once. After the ceremony, random strangers, people I don’t know and who don’t know me or my family or my deceased uncle, came up to me and told me how much my speech moved them.

I could hardly believe it. I mean, this is me we’re talking about here. Me! Who can’t for the life of me speak a decent phrase, can’t form an acceptable argument, can’t win any debate, let alone in Hebrew, to the point where I choose to just keep my mouth shut. Me, who always believed that silence is power and chose the written expression over the spoken one every chance I got. I actually spoke in front of a big-ass audience and moved them all to tears.

I think it might be because I kinda cheated. When I went up on that stage, the lights went out and the only spotlight was on me. The rest of the auditorium, with the entire audience in it, vanished into complete darkness. So it was easy for me to imagine I wasn’t really speaking to anybody and that the place was empty.

The rest of the day went by smoothly because this was the one day during chol hamoed where I didn’t have to find ways to entertain my daughter. The rally took place in Kfar Hanoar in Maayanot. It was a huge park, grass everywhere, a nearby petting zoo with goats and cows and ponies, a big stage in the middle of the park with music and tiny tiny dancing kids, my daughter among them, a temp tattoo booth, mats spread out all over, tons of food… All we had to do was give my daughter space and chase her around. She was so worn out by the end that she fell asleep ON THE WAY to the car and didn’t wake up until we got back to Jerusalem.

But yeah, the rest of the days, dude, snails go by faster. Yesterday, I was so relieved to finally get back to our regular routine. It was a bit difficult for my daughter, at first. We totally confused her over the past fucking month like “Ok, back to daycare,” “Or maybe not”, “and not today either”, “but today yes,” “and today again no”… Who wouldn’t be confused with such a non-routine?

So yes, it passed. Mazal Tov bitches!

Peace, love and I’m two times 18. Chai chai ve’kayam!

 

Post-IZM Blues

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I’ve recently found that slowly but surely I’ve managed to return to myself and my regular programming – art, activism, writing, reading, exercise, music, social activities, the usual mischief.

July kicked ass. I’ve worked hard and managed my time accordingly and have thus made zines, wrote some shit, attended Slutwalk, attended Pride, organized art mornings, kept with my weekly Tai Chi routine, read and am still reading lots of King books, and tried to stay as active as possible even within the realms of my maternal duties, as limiting as some of them may be. Yes, there are 24 hours in a day. I’ve owned them and filled them up to the fucking rim.

However, after an exchange between me and my husband regarding boring financial issues, we’ve agreed that I should give up my free mornings so that I may be able to pick my daughter up from daycare at a more reasonable hour and not have to keep her there until 18:00 and be charged for babysitting services. It comes out to hundreds of Shekels every month, and that’s a lot. But what I will be sacrificing to avoid such an expense is a lot, too.

“I won’t be writing anymore,” I told my husband. ” I also won’t have time for Tai Chi, or zine-production, or post office errands, or cooking, or dishes, or laundry, or sleeping in, or anything else. I will be reduced to being just a part-time secretary and a full-time mother. Nothing more.”

But money talks.

And bullshit walks.

So along the bullshit goes and sacrifices have to be made. I may have one morning a week for a while at least. And I’ll cram a whole load of things into it. Maybe I can revamp my weekends into something manageable and at least keep my Tai Chi routine…

Pfff, yeah right! After working only mornings shifts, I will be so tired by the end of the week, I’ll just pass the fuck out. No exercise, no zines, no writing and I’ll be too tired to care.

I really hope I won’t be too upset. Ink still runs through my veins and it still needs to bleed out onto a blank page. Tai Chi is necessary for my myotonized muscles lest they cramp up again, and I cannot afford a sedentary lifestyle. Zines breed positivity and I can sure use it right now.

But money still talks. And lord knows that following a morning shift, my pillow also talks my ears off.

Maybe I should start drinking coffee. Fuck this shit.

Peace, love and 24 hours in a day, my ass.