What Vacation?

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This year’s holiday season has been the absolute worst one I’ve ever had.

It’s ironic that on one of my previous years’ holiday posts I said something along the lines of “I like holiday season because it’s my birthday and when the zodiac turns to Libra, the stars tend to align and all is right in the universe.”

Well this time, the zodiac and the full moon of Tishrei must have been in some kind of retrograde because goddamn! First my birthday and the fact that, first, my dog got sick, and then my daughter got sick. Then the back and forth rides from Jerusalem to Givolim, then Be’er Sheva, then back to Jerusalem and back to Be’er Sheva, then back to Jerusalem and all the way to Zichron and back to Jerusalem. My daughter constantly being confronted with people she doesn’t know, and being strapped to a car seat for endless rides, completely screwed up her routine and sleeping patterns and finally ended up being sick with a fever and eye infection for the entire fucking holiday.

My husband came back home from work yesterday and said that everyone kept asking him how was his vacation, and he’s like “What vacation?”

Seriously, vacation? What the fuck is that anyway? If holding your kid and feel her going up in flames is a vacation, then yes, we had a blast. If sticking a thermometer and a bunch of suppositories up your kid’s bum and rubbing antibiotic cream into your kid’s eyes and having her hate you as a result is a vacation, then oh boy, that was one hell of a vacation! If spending every waking hour at the doctor’s clinic turning your kid into a guinea pig being poked and prodded all over and having her hate you even more is a vacation, party on because my vacation kicked your vacation’s ass.

I don’t want any more vacations. I want my routine. I want my daughter to be healthy, have fun with her friends at daycare, and go to sleep at a normal hour and not wake up at 2:00 a.m. due to a body temperature of 40 fucking degrees.

This traumatizing holiday season is making me dread Passover and dread next year’s holidays even more.

On a brighter note, I got a new Stephen King book to keep me busy and hopefully make me forget about this steaming pile of horseshit known as a vacation.

Peace, love and here’s to a silent baby monitor

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Get Messy on V-Day!

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V-Day special! For this weekend only, use the coupon code “VDAY2016” on the PMS Mess Etsy Shop and get 14% off any purchase! (14% as in February 14, get it?)

Treat yourself to feminist zines, music and postcards or get a unique gift for a kickass feminist friend!

Messy and magical items in the shop include:

Purple Myrtle Squeegy – my PMS perzine

PMS cover 1 PMS issue 4 DSC02449 DSC03041

Fallopian Falafel – my compilation zine

Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel

Alternative Jerusalem – a series of awesome postcards I designed

Draining1 Metal Proud1 Slut

Kickass care packages

PMS collection Care Package FF

All items come with freebies such as feminist zines or minizines or stickers or patches or my band’s CD!

Peace, love and mess up!

No Presents for New Year

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So New Year’s is coming up, and just like any other Christian New Year I will be doing nothing. New Year’s for me is as unimportant as the Jewish New Year is to Christians. Thinking back on all the other New Years I’ve had, they were either uneventful or absolutely horrible. I’m pretty sure I wrote about this once, though I can’t remember where, so here it is again.

I don’t remember any New Year parties before Y2K, so nothing happened then.

In 2000, New Year’s eve fell on a Friday. So it was the Sabbath. I did nothing more than watching the NY ball drop on TV, expecting my computer to go up in flames and waiting for nukes to fly. Nothing happened of course and life went on as usual.

In 2001, I slept. In 2002, I slept some more. In 2003, I was up north with my boyfriend of the time, getting drunk and freezing my ass off in a cabin that had no heating. The following day I spent with my head in the toilet. In 2004, some more sleeping took place. In 2005, I wrote this post. The following years, I was in Israel (and still am) where the “Sylvester” is virtually non-existent. It’s just another day where you go to work and, while looking over your schedule for the day or writing another invoice, you realize “Oh yeah, it’s January 1st,” in a rather nonchalant tone. Same thing happens on Christmas.

There were some New Year’ses that sucked ass. Like in January 1, 2010. It was the 30-day memorial of my cousin who passed away from brain cancer. So the first thing I did that year was looking at the gravestone of an 18-year-old kid, while my grandmother was screaming bloody murder.

In 2010 to 2012, schlafen marathons galore, and maybe even some Stephen King books.

In 2013 I had a blast – namely my elbow was blasted to hell and beyond. So I spent my New Year’s at the hospital. How awesome is that?

In 2014, I was still struggling to find a date for my second surgery and Hadassah Hospital kept postponing it. And then I slept.

This year, there’s a party at Blaze, but I don’t care. I rather stay at home and get some writing done. Now that I have some time cleared, I may actually make something of myself, and celebrate New Year 2015 in the company of my typewriter, stationaries, pens and paper. Who knows, maybe I can even start a new issue of PMS!

Peace, love and January is in winter anyway so it sucks no matter what.

Batmetal

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With no connection whatsoever to the title of this blog, I miss writing and zine production. Goddess how I miss it. The wedding arrangements and planning and meetings and everything is taking up waaaay too much of my time. I can’t wait for it to be all closed and done, and enjoy my wedding and go on with the rest of my life.

With a little closer connection to the title, I also miss Sunday Metal Nights. A few weeks ago, I missed it because we had a meeting at the wedding hall. Then after that, I missed it again because I had a surgery on that day. And the following week (which was last week) when we finally made it to the bar, some guy took over the computer, raided the motherfucker with like 50 songs, all of which were lameass nu metal tunes with choruses of clean vocals, which my boyfriend adequately describes as boy-band vocals. I think it was the first metal night I’ve been to where Amon Amarth, Carcass and Death didn’t make even one lousy appearance.

Today, I don’t even know if we’ll make it to the metal night because we have a Hannuka dinner at my boyfriend’s grandmother’s house. There will be couscous and Shfinj (a Moroccan delicacy, not to be missed, EVER!).

So for three consecutive weeks, I feel a serious withdrawal from good wholesome Sunday Metal Nights. And if tonight’s dinner ends late, this will bring the total number of weeks to four. A whole fucking month.

My boyfriend says that Sunday Metal Nights are a necessity that holds him sane for the entire week. And I couldn’t agree more. So a whole month without it is something I can barely comprehend.

All that besides the fact that I miss writing and making zines. And wedding stuff taking too long and yes, I confess, I am still reading an ungodly amount of Stephen King, and I have nobody to blame but myself for that. But I vow that once all of this is done and once Detective Hodges catches the Mercedes Killer, I will stock up on a fresh load of paper cuts and spilled smudged ink stains on my fingers.

Peace, love and happy Hannuka!

Life Is Good. Death Is Better!

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20141001_194934Yesterday was my 32nd goyishe birthday. For the occasion, my boyfriend’s parents and family ordered pizza and a chocolate cake, and I got a few new shirts, a pair of pants and some birthday songs. My boyfriend already got me a Stephen King book from my Amazon wishlist, which I should get only towards the end of this month, plus a nice night of romance which I got last night.

Also, I got a free salad from my favorite salad place in downtown Jerusalem. I must say that I don’t recall ever getting a birthday wish or free stuff from any company or shop in Montreal whenever my birthday rolled around. But in Israel, I got a text and an e-card from my medical insurance company, a text from Hasalatia informing me of a free salad, and even my salary slip at work has a little note wishing me a happy birthday. My coworker says it’s probably the companies’ way of reminding me that they exist, as some kind of publicity, but I still thought it’s sweet, and made me smile.

Aside from all that, I also got a letter from my new penpal from Salem, Massachusetts, and the zine I ordered from Sweet Candy Distro!

So I was sitting at the post office branch in downtown Jerusalem, waiting to take care of some errands for my work, while reading my penpal letter and leafing through the awesome zine. A girl sitting next to me was sifting through a whole stack of bills she has to pay. This made me think of how much happier I am to find colorful envelopes in my mailbox and how snail mail can be so much more awesome when the packages you get are not just boring old bills and stupid flyers for shit you don’t need.

I can’t wait to write my Salem penpal back and maybe even send my recent Purple Myrtle Squeegy zine issue to Sweet Candy Distro for consideration!

Also, tonight there is a tribute for the awesome band Death in Tel Aviv. A couple of years ago we went to another Death tribute they had at Sublime, also in Tel Aviv. I recall it was fucking rad! Death is not an easy band to cover. Their musicians are as good as they come and their vocals are second to none. But that tribute was surprisingly good, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I don’t know how good this year’s tribute will be. My boyfriend says that the place where they will play (Barbi Bar) has terrible acoustics. However, this year they got musicians from several bands, including Magor who we saw at Wacken in August and at Festikassach last week, plus a drummer from Cradle of Filth. So that should be interesting.

I like birthday season. When the Zodiac turns to Libra, the stars tend to line up and all is well in the universe. I am really looking forward to fasting this Sabbath (Yom Kippur) and also to the full moon on my Jewish birthday (Succot).

Peace, love and health to all

Restocking on King

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King MercedesThis post is inspired by Catherine Elms‘ post on the same subject.

My birthday is coming up on the eve of Succot (my Jewish birthday is always the most accurate one). My family knows me as a Stephen King book addict (see this post and this post, and like a bunch of other ones) and on every birthday they buy me a gift certificate to Steimatzky to help me along my latest book binge.

However, I’ve come to realize that Steimatzky rarely has any Stephen King books that I don’t have. I think this is because I have 38 of his novels (and collections of novellas), and it’s hard for me to find a book of his that I don’t yet own. In fact, the only time I found SK books in Steimatzky that I don’t own is when I had none.

So it’s for that reason, I decided to score books online and made a wishlist of these books, which will complete my Stephen King novel collection short of only four books (Dreamcatcher, Cujo, Insomnia and Eyes of the Dragon). King’s nonfiction, comic books, screenplays, short stories not included in any collection, and anything else the dude’s published will have to wait until later. The novels are what’s really interesting me now.

If anyone reading this is interested in buying me one of the books from this wishlist, here are some pointers:

1) The book must be in English: I can read French and Hebrew just fine, but too much is lost in translation and makes me a sad panda.

2) The book must be brand new: I made the mistake of ordering used books in the past. Never again. And if it’s a gift, new is best.

3) Paperback over hardcover: I find paperback books easier to handle and easier to read. Hardcover ones are too heavy, especially if I’m taking them with me on a trip (and also shipping costs increase significantly). But it’s not a must. If no paperbacks are available, I’ll gladly take hardcover.

Here is the list of my coveted books in no particular order:

11/22/63
The Colorado Kid
From a Buick 8
The Regulators (as Richard Bachman)
Blaze (as Richard Bachman)
The Bachman Books
Cycle of the Werewolf
Nightmares and Dreamscapes
Skeleton Crew
Everything’s Eventual
The Tommyknockers
Mr. Mercedes
Gerald’s Game
Firestarter
The Dead Zone
Revival (pre-order, to be released in November)

I have a dream that one day I’ll have the complete King collection (until he publishes yet another one) and then I could take a picture of me with towers of his books all around me, wearing my PJ shirt that reads “Keep Calm, all things serve the beam.”

Ah, that’ll be a grand day!

Peace, love and oh, the picture must also include the King tattoo I plan on getting based on the Dark Tower!

Feed Me Recipes!

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I am very happy with my list of resolutions and I got started on a few of them already. Numbers 1, 7 and 8 all have to do with doctors’ appointments and shit. I set most of the appointments for October and a couple of them for November. And I already had my appointment with the family doctor for all the necessary paperwork, and I also had a blood test.

The only appointment I can’t manage to get is for the Holter test. Hadassah Ein Karem is being most unhelpful. I sent them emails, and left them messages, and tried different numbers and extensions, but to no avail. I might try a different clinic if I don’t get any answer before the upcoming Succot holiday.

I also started on number 6 – finding vegetarian recipes for the week. Yom Kippur is usually the best day to get great ideas for recipes. So this past Saturday, my mom and my aunts talked about nothing but recipes. And since they’re suddenly all about health food, I was bound to get some good ideas out of them. I also flipped through an old booklet with recipes for a variety of cakes and cookies and sweet stuff (I used to think it would make the fast even harder, but I was bound to think about food the whole day anyway, so I might as well use these thoughts constructively).

Now I have a recipe for a quick and easy morning pastry with raisins, enoki mushroom salad, filo rolls with apples and honey (clearly made for Rosh Hashana), and chocolate chip cookies. Earlier last week, I also found on the internet a recipe for cheesy penne with broccoli, and another one for red lentil and basmati rice cakes with tomato salsa.

I’m looking for more options for omlettes, mushroom dishes, rice salads, light dairy mini-meals in hopes of spicing up my weekly diet.

I haven’t yet tried any of these recipes. It will have to wait until I come back from Italy, go grocery shopping and make time for it. New recipes always take me a longass time, especially considering the post-cooking cleanup and dishes. Oh, how I dread the dishes! Lucky for me, if my boyfriend partakes from whatever comes out of the oven or the pot or the pan, said dishes will most likely be washed by said boyfriend.

Along with some other recipes I kept in my backlog (sweet potato pie, matbucha, carrot cake, pancake, and some others I can’t remember now), I now have enough material to start my own recipe notebook. So that’s another exciting art project I have in mind. So awesome!

Anyway, back to my list of resolutions, I still have a lot more to go, and some of them are ongoing (like number 2 – practicing more guitar, and number 9 – having a daily Chi Kung routine). But I’d like to get my medical stuff out of the way so that I can focus all my energy on the others.

Peace, love and more ideas for veggie meals will be appreciated.