Twenty-Nine-Zine

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I don’t celebrate New Year’s. In my archives, you can find countless posts from previous years about how I don’t give a rat’s ass about New Year’s.

However, being an avid list-maker, I do make some New Year’s resolutions. It’s nice to see just how right I am about my predictions regarding the resolutions: which ones I will definitely get done and which ones I will avoid until the last minute or not do them at all. For example, I will no doubt avoid getting hair extensions until I’m all out of hair. The one I will not do at all (and probably regret it somewhere down the line) is renewing my Canadian passport. Goddamn bureaucratic shit.

On the other hand, I will most likely do all the zine-related resolutions. In fact, I should probably consider making a list solely for these and call it “My New Year’s Re-zine-lutions”.

So without further ado, here is my list as it stands:

  1. Write and publish a new issue of Purple Moon Spawn:
    I’m still in the process of brainwashing a few ideas for this issue. But I’m very excited at the prospect of writing my PMS Perzine under this new and awesome name!
  2. Plan new Twigz tattoo:
    I wrote about that a few posts ago while I was still working on my metal zine. I want to get my mascot tattooed on my left wrist. I just need to draw her properly enough to be worthy of a permanent fixture on my flesh.
  3. Work on a couple of ZineWriMo minis:45358972_10155563905547471_33584333562314752_o
    I still have some of my blanks waiting patiently for me to fill them up with awesomeness inspired by some of the ZineWriMo prompts. I need to get down to that at some point this year.
  4. Buy new purse:
    Yet another activity inspired by a ZineWriMo prompt. I want a new purse that I can use for my zine tools for zinestering on-the-go. Or just get a purse for the sake of having one that I actually like. I’m not too crazy about the one I currently use.
  5. Renew my Canadian passport:
    Stupid shit. Fucking headache. Canadians just can’t get any more anal. And this coming from an Israeli who also has to deal with Israeli bureaucracy. Seriously, I’d rather be renewing my Israeli passport ten times if it meant not having to deal with my Canadian one.
  6. Set Thursday as my Tai Chi day:
    And at the same time, setting Mondays as my zinestering day. I need to make a schedule for every month ahead of time, like I used to do.
  7. Get hair extensions:
    I feel like I’m going prematurely bald. I told my husband, there will come a day, very soon, where I will go to the hair salon and blow a nice amount of cheddar on extensions, hair dye, layering and styling. Fuck this mop of a hair. I’m sick of it already!
  8. Make a new flyer for PMS Mess:
    I already have a nice flyer for my zine (those of you who have traded with me or bought my zines may remember the flyer featuring Carrie soaked in pig’s blood with the tagline “I bleed it, you read it”), I think my Etsy shop can use one too. Speaking of which, please like my Facebook page!
  9. Reload Rammstein songs on my player:
    I found that every time a Rammstein song comes on my player, the song suddenly stops in the middle, stutters for a bit, then skips to the next song. I need to try reloading the songs and see if it remedies the situation. I can’t stand not listening to “Mein Teil” or “Benzin” all the way through. Pisses me off.
  10. Eat healthier:
    A resolution inspired by my new zine friend (Cheers Frances, if you’re reading this!). I’m thinking of at least improving the state of my breakfast. Tea and toast just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. I need eggs, fresh veggies, and different kinds of cheese, alongside tea and toast. And if I do ever get around to making a schedule for every month, I ought to try to include relevant times for trying new recipes.

I really hope to get through all of these, including the ones I really don’t feel like doing. Wish me luck and I shall wish you a happy new year!

Peace, love and 2019 ways of being

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Summer Sweetness

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20180517_153514Here is a nice little story that may restore your faith in humankind, just in time for Shavuot.

As some of my followers may know, I’ve recently ordered a Stephen King book from Book Depository. The item was dispatched within three business days, as they promised. They said it would take within 10 business days to make it to its destination, i.e. me.

I waited over two weeks before going to the post office to see what the hell was up. They had no idea.

The following day, I received a message via Facebook from a stranger who said he is trying to track down a person bearing my name and maiden name who lives in Jerusalem because he received a package that was mistakenly delivered to him.

So not only is he not my Facebook friend, he is a complete stranger. And he didn’t simply return the package to the post office as most people do, he actually went out of his way to track me down and deliver the package to its rightful addressee.

This is a big deal. Especially for me because this is a Stephen King book we are talking about here. It is tantamount to sacred scripture. Any other person would have just tossed it, and that would be sacrilege!

So it turned out that he works in the center of town, where I also work. He just dropped by my office to give me my package. The million thank-yous I told him didn’t seem to be doing justice to just how grateful I was. Really, how awesome is that?

To top it off, today is hot as hell. FINALLY! I can do away with the hoodies and the layers and the winter gear, and replace it with kickass tank tops and summer dresses. Not to mention, my baby will stop fussing around when I dress her because I probably just won’t! There is some baby chub that requires some serious smushing. A little pair of shorts or a cute little onesie and finito.

This is the positivity that only sunshine can bring. Say what you want about Israeli heat, blue skies breeds smiles, there is no denying that.

Peace, love and sunscreen

 

 

Holiday My Ass

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The Jewish Holidays.

Usually, they’re crazy. But this time, they were super crazy, with a twist of wild and the added element of insane. It was the first time I was to spend a holiday with my married family (my husband and my kid) and not my born one (my parents).

My parents decided to spend Rosh Hashana on the other end of the planet (Los Angeles). And since we were going to spend most of the holiday at my husband’s family’s house in the south of the country, my parents let us stay in their southern house while they were gone.

This however, didn’t prevent us from endless travels in the car, to and from different families’ houses. My 10-month-old, fearing anyone she doesn’t know, which is basically everybody, was attacked from all sides by people who were complete strangers to her.

“OH MY GOD SHE IS SO CUTE WHAT A BEAUTY LET ME HOLD HER JUST A LITTLE COOCHIE COOCHIE COO WHY IS SHE CRYING!!!”

She’s crying because you would too when complete strangers come at you from every side while screaming and making faces and trying to touch you. Put yourself in her tiny shoes for fuck’s sake!

She likes kids but they were all older than her and I kept having to shield her from the tempest of older kids who were running around like mad.

Being attacked by adult strangers and nearly being trampled by kids makes for a terrified and overstimulated baby and a worried mother who will know no sleep that night. My daughter didn’t fall asleep before 2:00 a.m. and I cried myself to sleep wishing I was back home in Jerusalem, where it’s quiet and comfy and where sleep is actually possible.

We spent the second day at my extended family’s place where there were still more strangers but also two other babies, so that was ok. We slept rather well that night.

On Friday we had lunch and headed home.

I can’t even begin to describe the amazing and relieving feeling of being back home. I felt like I do after I come back from a longass overseas trip.

“Thank. God!”

I think we were all relieved, including my daughter. In fact, she was so relieved she slept from 10:00 p.m. until 8:45 a.m. which is far longer than she normally does.

This upcoming weekend is the first time I will fast while taking care of a little baby. I can only imagine how BORED OUT OF HER MIND she will be since I won’t be able to do much. I don’t think anybody can do much when running low on fluids and nutrients.

My coworker suggested taking her to the park which sounded like a good idea at first until I thought about what that would involve, i.e. pulling a heavy ass stroller with an even heavier child up a flight of steps, walking to the park in the scorching sun, struggling to keep child away from yet another tempest of children riding bicycles, walking back home and dragging heavy stroller and child back down the flight of steps, and pass out.

I love the holidays. Really I do. But then again, not so much.

Goddamit

Peace, love and impending winter sucks too

 

Kosher Enough for Me

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I read a couple of my previous posts about Passover in past years and was amazed at how clean and organized I was and how not tired I was to clean the holy hell out of my apartment.

This year, I went Kosher Lite. Taking care of an infant involves not being able to clean your house for a wide variety of reasons:

  1. You’re tired as fuck.
  2. Your entire body aches from handling said infant for hours on end (that is an aching back, hips, legs, arms, neck…)
  3. You’re taking care of an infant and don’t have time for things like living your life, much less cleaning your house.
  4. Cleaning products produce toxic fumes that are dangerous to the baby and to nursing mothers.
  5. Your house gets dirty again within a couple of hours by which time you really couldn’t give a flying fuck.

And so it was that this year, my mom helped me out by cleaning the cupboards and the home appliances I NEVER clean, like the oven and the fridge.

My husband also did a bunch of cleaning. In fact, with his rubber gloves, a bucket in one hand and a sponge in the other, he would have made a perfect model for one of those “female porn” calendars. Such a cutie!

I still tried to do my part – washing the dishes and replacing them with kosher for Passover ones. But then I went back to the couch and resumed nursing my kid. I don’t really do much else. Frankly, I love nursing my kid so much that I prefer doing that more than anything else – writing, reading, watching TV, and definitely more than cleaning my house.

Anyway, the holiday provides no rest. Going back and forth from here to Be’er Sheva is a drag for my kid and her parents who would rather stay home where it’s quiet and comfy and dirty.

Peace, love and I’m at the office, missing my kid

Schlafenland

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Those who know me well know that sleep is my most hopeless of hopeless addictions. My attempts at getting over it included waking up early to exercise, eating more raw veggies and drinking more water. Although these attempts were met with considerable success, I am still a pillow-lover extraordinaire.

My problem now is that although I love sleep, I can’t fall asleep to save my mother’s life. It takes me a good hour to an hour and a half to slumber away on a good day. On an average day, it can take up to two hours. On a really bad day, and especially if I have tea or water before bedtime, it takes me up to three hours, plus waking up to pee in one- to two-hour intervals. This is also a reason why I always turn down a cup of tea after dinner, or a glass of water after 9 p.m. even if I’m quite thirsty. I rather go to sleep on the verge of dehydration than having to wake up every hour to take a wizz (or just get up every five minutes if I haven’t managed to fall asleep yet).

Even if I am really tired (as I am now due to lack of sufficient sleep), slight distractions can keep me nice and alert for hours at a time – my husband snoring, weird sounds from the fridge or the living room sofa (don’t ask), my dog coming in to sleep next to us on the floor, and nightmares galore. Last night, my dog came to sleep with us and woke me up in the early morning hours because she was dreaming and whimpering in her sleep.

I also try various things to induce sleep: clear my mind, push away all worrying thoughts, find the most comfortable position I can, wash my face with hot water, and read, but alas. Sometimes I avoid setting the alarm if I can afford to do so. I realized that setting the alarm, especially for an afternoon nap, can keep me awake just as well. This past weekend I managed to sleep until 1:30 p.m. Such bliss!

I don’t want to resort to sleeping pills or whatever other prescription meds, but I’m running out of options.

Peace, love and sleep marathon on Passover sounds absolutely delightful

PMS issue 1408

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I’m taking a short break from my Fun-a-Day CD reviews to inform you of something you absolutely must have.

Like chocolate and Advil, no PMS spree can go by awesomely without this latest issue of my zine. This is a full color issue featuring photos and stories about my phenomenal trip to Salem and my experience of my first time tabling at a real zine fest in Boston.

If you like zines and spooks, this is the zine for you!

It is now up for sale and for trade.

Check out these awesome pics and tell me you don’t crave this as much as you crave Ben & Jerry’s Cookies n’ Cream ice cream!

Peace, love and can you guess why it’s 1408?

Rock On 2016!

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In a few of my past end-of-the-year posts, I wrote about the utter nonchalance or outright hate I have for the Gregorian new year’s and respective celebrations. This year I am also planning on not celebrating per say because in Israel, you just don’t feel it too much, except when you write a check or an invoice and need to date it correctly.

But as opposed to previous years, I plan on actually enjoying December 31-January 1st. After the dark, deep and cold abyss I fell into during the past month (for reasons I will not detail) I deserve a good start to the new year.

So for the occasion, I’ll start by working on a new issue of my zine, and write a bunch of longass letters to my penpals. Then, I’ll have a New Year’s breakfast with my good friend, Rachel, who is planning on making waffles (hell yes!).

After that, I have a whole list of awesome plans scheduled for January. I laid out an extensive and well-detailed itinerary and plans to follow through.

The schedule includes: sleeping in, writing letters, working on a zine, playing guitar, reading, baking muffins, go to the mikveh, go to the post office, go to metal night, doing Tai Chi, and the usual yet exciting daily activities such as taking out my dog, showering and eating.

Aside from that, I also included specific dates for organizing all my belongings in preparation for my move to the new apartment. We are set to move sometime around the end of January and both my husband and I are so super excited for the prospect of having a bigger space for all our stuff – our seven guitars and respective cases, our three amps, our sound system, our four laptops and one desktop, our enormous yet awesome collection of CDs, DVDs, records, plus our record player and tape deck, my enormous yet awesome collection of zines, books (that is at least 50 books of Stephen King among others), art materials, snail mail stuff, our mounds of clothes which our closet can barely contain, and more.

The best thing about January 2016 is my plans for the Fun-A-Day event I recently joined on Facebook! That event involves picking one activity to do every day in the month of January. So I picked listening to an album I’ve never listen to before in order to discover new music and add it to my iPod.

I made a list of 31 albums I’m interested in checking out on every day in January. Though most of these are bands I’m already familiar with and like quite a bit, the albums listed are those I’ve never really listened to in depth or at all. And here the list in its daily order:

  • Kataklysm: Shadows & Dust
  • Lloth: Dancing in the Dark Lakes of Evil
  • Slash: World on Fire
  • Disturbed: Indestructible
  • Marilyn Manson: The High End of Low
  • Rammstein: Liebe ist für alle da
  • Sleater-Kinney: (self-titled)
  • Iwrestledabearonce: Ruining it for Everybody
  • Winds of Plague: Against the World
  • Earth Crisis: Neutralize the Threat
  • Warbringer: Worlds Torn Asunder
  • Krisiun: The Great Execution
  • Vallenfyre: A Fragile King
  • Arafel: Second Strike: Through the Flames of the Ages
  • Vogelfrey: Zwolf Schritte zum Strick
  • Bratmobile: Pottymouth
  • Le Tigre: This Island
  • The Julie Ruin: Run Fast
  • Kataklysm: Epic: The Poetry of War
  • Astarte: Rise from Within
  • Hatesphere: New Hell
  • Omnium Gatherum: Years in Waste
  • Gates of Ishtar: The Dawn of Flames
  • King Diamond: Fatal Portrait
  • Mercyful Fate: 9
  • Screaming Mechanical Brain: The Policy of Unilateral Hate
  • Einherjer: Odin Owns Ye All
  • Dypsomaniaxe: One Too Many
  • Winter of Sin: Violence Reigns Supreme
  • Be’lakor: Stone’s Reach
  • Pantera: Cowboys from Hell

So once January rolls around, that is this Friday, I’ll start listening to these records and writing a short review of them here. In case you care, and even if you don’t 😛

Oh man, I can’t wait to check out Kataklysm! I heard one or two of their songs once and loved them so much, they actually appear twice in my list!

Peace, love and music forever!