The New Me

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As you noticed, my blog layout is completely different.

For the last few weeks, I’ve felt like a change was needed. And not just a change of blog theme, but a change of perspective on life and a change of how I define myself.

I’ve noticed that the grrrlVIRUS movement has much less importance in my life as the movement itself died. Nobody I know talks about it anymore, there are no new posts on any of the related pages or social networks – it’s simply vanished.

The grrrlVIRUS event that was supposed to take place in Berlin a few years ago never happened, and I was so utterly disappointed by it. I think my lack of interest in the movement started then. That’s besides the point that I was the only active member of the Israeli grrrlVIRUS branch. Forget active, I was the only member. Any demonstration I went to – Slutwalk, Pride, whatever… I was the only one holding a grrrlVIRUS banner, I was the only one giving out flyer and trying to spread the virus. 

I don’t think I burned out. I think the virus simply died. There is no more interest in it and I’m no longer involved.

So I no longer define myself as a grrrlIVIRUS-infected chick. I am still a riot grrrl though. I think my tattoo has never been more accurate as it is now – “a true riot grrrl never dies”. I still listen to the music, I still make zines and I still revel in DIY magic. The main difference between riot grrrl and grrrlVIRUS for me is that the latter was a passing fad, whereas the former was one that shaped me for already 14 years. It’s not something that will simply disappear, or die just as easily. I’m still a feminist, and riot grrrl is the movement that defines feminism for me.

Back of VestMy patches vest has a large print of the grrrlVIRUS logo on the back, and I’ve been considering covering it with another large patch. I’m not sure which one yet. I’ve been considering either Mercyful Fate, Amon Amarth or a classic one of Arch Enemy, like from Wages of Sin or something. I also need to remove the grrrlVIRUS patch from the bottom right of the vest and replace it with something else. 

For my blog, I changed the description of “The Badass” on the top right. No mention of grrrlVIRUS is made, and I’ve added some things that I identify with more and that define me in my current state, based on my current interests.

I’ve also been considering changing the picture and the text in the page “About the Badass.” It will be a little more detailed and a little less pretentious.

As a little yet important change – I no longer wear the typewriter necklace I’ve been wearing for the past five years. I still love typewriters and still use my own when I produce zines or write letters, but the necklace is now faded and worn out. I am now wearing a Thor’s Hammer pendent that I recently bought online. It’s a similar one that Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth) wears onstage.

Aside from that, I feel the need to detatch myself from people who are too left wing. I simply can’t stand just how hateful some of these people can get. I’ve been right wing since I moved to Israel, and I’ve been Zionist for as long as I can remember. The reason I added these people in the first place was because we had other things in common – feminism, metal, punk, zines, pro-GLBT sentiments, etc. But when it comes to nationalism, they couldn’t piss me off more. During the latest conflict with Gaza, a shitload of infuriatingly ignorant, naive, and shockingly anti-Semitic posts flooded my Facebook and my WordPress feed. I have some friends who are left wing but still level headed. These will remain my friends. But as for the ones who can’t stand to say the word “Zionist” without adding “equals Nazi”, they can fuck off.  I already unfriended one of these people on Facebook. I need to weed out the rest.

I needed this redefinition to reclaim my balance, put my identity in focus, and admit to myself that this is who I am. No matter who I’ve been and what I said and what I wrote in the past, my present is the only thing that matters.

Peace, love and change is good.

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DIY Month – Day 24: Patch Design

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I have dozens of grrrlVIRUS patches. I’m selling some, trading some, giving some as gifts, sewed a few on my clothes/bags, and more than I know what to do with. So I decided it was time to make a different patch. I considered a few ideas:

– “I ❤ Zines”
– “Fuck the press. Zines are the best.”
– “Metal Grrrl”
– Some feminized version of the Holy Name in Hebrew (Elohima, Hakdosha Brucha Hi, etc.)

But then, I thought of the obvious. I never had a riot grrrl patch, so why not make one? So I used a piece of fabric, some black and pink fabric paint, and stenciled a simple yet pretty riot grrrl logo. I’m quite happy with it. Once it dries, I’ll sew it on my backpack.

RG PatchRG Patch material

Peace, love and Riot On!

DIY Month – Day 18: Modify Shirt

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I’m still depressed because of Buxy’s passing. Last night I couldn’t stop hugging Diamond and kissing her forehead. The time we spend with our pets is too short. Buxy was 11 when he passed away, but I’ve been with him for only five years because I couldn’t take him with me when I moved to Israel. He would have been miserable. So I take comfort in the fact that he was happy and loved until the very end. But I’m still sad that I didn’t spend the last years with him.

Last night, I had to force myself to do the activity I planned. I think art and creation is the only thing that can keep you going when you feel upset. When you are standing in front of your creation, the fruit of your labors, sometimes it’s the only thing that makes you feel alive. So last night, I picked a shirt to modify.

The shirt is one I got from my aunt in LA. She always sends my mom and me really neat stuff. This t-shirt is dark gray with skulls and anchors drawn on the front and nothing on the back. My aunt knows I like stuff like skulls, so she thought it would be good for me. When I tried it on, the length of the shirt was good, but the sleeves were weird because they weren’t long enough to be t-shirt sleeves and they weren’t short enough to be tank-top sleeves. They were somewhere in the middle and it made me uncomfortable.

So I decided to do away with the sleeves. I also cut out a bit of the collar to make it look more like a normal tank top. And the empty back of the shirt bothered me, so I printed a grrrlVIRUS logo in Hebrew with a stencil I made.

I’m happy with the tank top. I have something new to wear in summer. Now all I need is some sunshine.

The shirt before it was modified

The shirt before it was modified

Shirt after it was modified. Sleeves and collar chopped off.

Shirt after it was modified. Sleeves and collar chopped off.

Back of the shirt with printed grrrlVIRUS logo in Hebrew.

Back of the shirt with printed grrrlVIRUS logo in Hebrew.

Peace, love and making some art in Buxy’s memory seems like a good idea

DIY Month – Day 6: Drawing

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This past weekend, I was at my parents’ house so I couldn’t write any updates on my DIY activities. So here is the first of the three blogs I will be writing today.

On Thursday, I made a pencil drawing. Though the subject matter was my usual riot grrrl chick, the drawing was different from my other ones in that I used both shading and color. I’ve never done that before. Usually, my shaded drawings were always in black and white, and the hair stood out more than the rest of the drawing.

This time, I used shading with a stump and color crayons. I wasn’t sure how it would turn out, so I tested it out with the grrrl’s lips at first. I drew the lips, shaded them, blended it with the stump and then added the color. It came out so good that I had to try it out with the rest of the face and hair.

By the time I finished the head, I was too tired to try and shade the grrrl’s shirt, which is why it looks more two dimensional than the rest of her. Also, I wasn’t really up to giving her a background, but I was so happy with the end result, and exclaimed out loud: “Yep, still got it!”

Doesn’t sound too modest but who gives a fuck?

And a tribute to riot grrrl doesn’t leave any room for modesty.

A Tribute to RIot

Peace, love and I kick ass

GrrrlVIRUS T-Shirts

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I just added some grrrlVIRUS t-shirt listings on my Etsy store. These were shirts that were not donated for the Crafts for a Cause store. I bought them from a store in central Jerusalem, then modified them by printing the grrrlVIRUS logo on them.

There is one t-shirt left in the Crafts for a Cause shop in case you want to buy something that will benefit womenkind, as all profits go to benefit the Jerusalem Rape Crisis Center.

And there are three t-shirts in my shop in case you want to buy something that will benefit my impending book shopping spree (Stephen King galore, including the seven books of the Dark Tower series).

Click on the picture of the t-shirt you want to be redirected to my Etsy store. The lucky recipient also gets a free feminist zine along with the shirt.

What I found funny (and I only realized it this morning) is that the brand of the t-shirt is called Anti-Virus! Make of it what you want, grrrlVIRUS has no antidote. Muahaha!

Peace, love and infection

Slutwalk Interview in German

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For the German speakers among you, I was interviewed on a German radio about Slutwalk in Jerusalem. It’s called “Slutwalks, Femen, Pussy Riot: Frauen erobern den öffentlichen Raum. Denn Recht auf Stadt heißt Recht auf Öffentlichkeit.” – Ein Feature von Eva Gutensohn und Elisa Makowski.

Here is a download link to the radio segment if you’re interested. All my quotes are in English.

http://www.mediafire.com/?721ce2zcf1au1y9

Peace, love, and anybody up for translating this for me?