I’m kind of craving zine-production again. I say “kind of” because I’m not sure I’m entirely there yet. I haven’t made one since January and decided to take a few months off to avoid burning out. That’s because last year, I made a few zines and mini zines and set my productivity mode to “crazy high”. I felt I needed to do that after not having produced anything for the couple of years before that when I was pregnant then taking care of my baby.
So this is how it went:
1) Me in 2007 to 2014: producing zines.
2) Me in 2015: getting married, going on honeymoon, producing lots of zines and attending the Boston Zine Fest.
3) Me in 2016: getting pregnant and losing all inspiration whatsoever. Not producing zines.
4) Me in 2017: taking care of baby girl, desperately trying to produce zines, and finally publishing one (with extreme difficulty) in October.
5) Me in 2018: taking care of a toddler, but free enough to go all out – went to Slutwalk, went to Pride, participated in International Zine Month and ZineWriMo, organized art mornings and crafternoons, produced three full-length zines and several minis.
When I released the latest zine I made, January 2019, I felt the initial signs of impending burnout. My head hurt every time I picked up my pen, and anything I put down on paper was stupid and devoid of any value. I complained in this blog that this is due to me being tired as fuck. But it was more than that. I was pushing my zinestering abilities to the edge and I don’t think I had it in me to admit it to myself. Until now. I pushed it and almost fell headlong into the abyss of zine-burnout.
So I decided to put the pen back down and put all my zine ammo in storage until I feel ok again. Meanwhile, I engaged in other creative things.
First, I made myself a bullet journal. I had it printed in March and I love the hell out of it! It’s so convenient and well-designed! I love having space to plan my day/week/month ahead of time, and keep track of all the achievements and positive points as I go along. It gives me a chance to get shit done and also an incentive to keep going. I also use it as a sort of diary. If I suddenly feel the urge to write longhand, I have a whole page to do it on.
Then, I went on a crazy creative spree planning out my daughter’s potty training party. Even if it didn’t work out at the end, I enjoyed all the creative stuff I managed to do. I painted, and drew, and cut, and pasted, and wrapped, and folded for a whole month.
I didn’t participate in the Mini-Zine March challenge because I didn’t feel ready yet. But I think I’m slowly getting there. By International Zine Month in July, I hope to be back in full-fledged zinestering frenzy mode and revel in zine magic. I ought to start stocking up on magazine clippings and flyers.
Peace, love and let the motherfucker burn