Welcome to Maternity

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The reason I’ve been absent from my blog for so long and the reason I was rather cryptic in one of my previous posts was that I was pregnant. That’s right! I now have a mini badass I call my daughter. I wrote a whole bunch of blogs I saved as drafts on my experience as a pregnant lady. These drats are now saved as journal entries in a digital diary I recently started keeping. They won’t be posted here.

I will say this though. Being pregnant and giving birth (I had a natural birth with no epidural) was the most empowering, most intense and most divine experience I’ve ever had. I feel so blessed that the goddess saw it fit to give me this body, this ability to create life and of course to bless me with this beautiful child. This child is a living breathing miracle and proof positive that the goddess does exist if I ever needed proof in the first place.

And besides that, if you thought I was a feminist before, holy fuck, you don’t know half of it now!

One of the drafts I wrote was a list of reasons why being pregnant totally rules. So here it is.

1. You get to be a total bitch to everyone and no one can call you on it.

2. You get to eat everything in sight, put on weight, and have your doctor tell you that’s a good thing.

3. You get to belittle everybody’s stupid little health issues by saying “Well, I’m pregnant, so shut the fuck up”.

4. You get to order people around and you know they’ll do whatever you tell them because whatever excuse they use to try and not do it, you can say “Well, I’m pregnant. So suck it up”.

5. You don’t get your period! You don’t need to go to the mikveh, and you can still fuck your partner any time you want.

6. You get to shop for maternity clothes.

7. You get big hooters!

8. You get to tell people that you’re God because you make people.

9. (If you’re like me and you hate alcohol) people will finally stop pushing drinks on you.

10. (If you’re like me and you hate cigarettes) people will stay away from you when they smoke, or avoid smoking altogether.

11. You get kicked on a regular basis and enjoy the hell out of it.

I am pretty busy these days with taking care of my kid but I really miss writing. So I’ll try to write posts more often. Just today I was thinking how awesome it is that I managed to accomplish so much. I did the dishes, had breakfast, did the dishes again, baked a cake, did another load of dishes, had lunch, dishes yet again, and folded a load of laundry. And still have time to write this post. I must say I have a pretty awesome kid. I mean seriously, this past Shabbat, we slept for 11 hours! Usually, parents never get that much sleep.

Peace, love and Ima Badass

Bleeder of the Pack

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Happy International Women’s Day! Here’s to being a proud female, a fierce feminist, and a crafty creator! To all my fellow sisters of the revolution, you’re fucking beautiful!|

Treat yourself or the lovely women in your life to an IWD gift from the PMS Mess Etsy Shop. Use the coupon code IWD2016 and get 20% off any purchase!

PMS banner

PMS Mess is my new Etsy Shop. There, you will find all the items that I produce by hand, sell with freebies, and ship with love!

Messy and magical items in the shop include:

Purple Myrtle Squeegy – my PMS Perzine

PMS cover 1 PMS issue 4 DSC02449 DSC03041

Fallopian Falafel – my compilation zine

Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel

Alternative Jerusalem – a series of awesome postcards I designed

Draining1 Metal Proud1 Slut

Kickass care packages

PMS collection Care Package FF

All items come with freebies such as feminist zines or minizines or stickers or patches or my band’s CD!

Peace, love and feminist forever!

Get Messy on V-Day!

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V-Day special! For this weekend only, use the coupon code “VDAY2016” on the PMS Mess Etsy Shop and get 14% off any purchase! (14% as in February 14, get it?)

Treat yourself to feminist zines, music and postcards or get a unique gift for a kickass feminist friend!

Messy and magical items in the shop include:

Purple Myrtle Squeegy – my PMS perzine

PMS cover 1 PMS issue 4 DSC02449 DSC03041

Fallopian Falafel – my compilation zine

Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel

Alternative Jerusalem – a series of awesome postcards I designed

Draining1 Metal Proud1 Slut

Kickass care packages

PMS collection Care Package FF

All items come with freebies such as feminist zines or minizines or stickers or patches or my band’s CD!

Peace, love and mess up!

Verdammt!

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You already know what I’m gonna say, right? I wanna make so many zines that there will not be any space for more paper cuts on my hands. I wanna produce lots of collages that my tiny apartment cannot contain. I wanna play guitar until the tips of my fingers get all bloody and peel-y.

Alas, this inspiration will most likely fade away the minute I get home. I seriously need to finally admit to myself that I am not a night person and that I produce my best work in the morning hours before going to work. So maybe next week, I’ll start my day bright and early to get some shit done. Damn you, pillow!

Also, I recently started reorganizing all the music on my iPod (damn you, iTunes!). I came across songs that are titled wrong, artists that are named “Best of Jimi Hendrix” (instead of Jimi Hendrix) and “Ronzi Wykonawcy” (who the fuck??), and albums that are titled “[14]the_ramones_now_i_wanna_sniff_some_glue_live_1986_(remastered)_FLAC_mp3” and so on until my player explodes.

Also, a player that fails to include songs like “Judas Rising” (Judas Priest), “Holy Diver” (Dio) and “Guilt Within Your Head” (The Gits) does not deserve to exist. So organizing all this shit for all eternity, it is!

Aside from that, thanks to the Zine Santa event and to all my wonderful regular zine traders, I am now the proud owner of 41664654617667 zines. I am not complaining, really, I love reading zines almost as much as I love making them. What I AM complaining about is the lack of space in my apartment to store my collection. I was supposed to move to a bigger place at the end of January, but the move got postponed to the end of February. So here I am, trying to make do with the 40 meters I call home, and trying to remember if this apartment ever had an actual floor. Seriously, the other day I fell flat on my face trying to work my way around the amps, heaters, guitar cables and wires sprawled all over the floor in our living room. With a floor that would best be described as storage space, my house became a fucking minefield.

DAMN YOU, POSTPONED MOVE DATE!

Peace, love and Wollt ihr das Haus in Flammen sehen? Jaaa!

PMS issue 1408

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I’m taking a short break from my Fun-a-Day CD reviews to inform you of something you absolutely must have.

Like chocolate and Advil, no PMS spree can go by awesomely without this latest issue of my zine. This is a full color issue featuring photos and stories about my phenomenal trip to Salem and my experience of my first time tabling at a real zine fest in Boston.

If you like zines and spooks, this is the zine for you!

It is now up for sale and for trade.

Check out these awesome pics and tell me you don’t crave this as much as you crave Ben & Jerry’s Cookies n’ Cream ice cream!

Peace, love and can you guess why it’s 1408?

Packing List for 2016

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Right now, my life is all over the place. I have about a dozen reminders set on my cellphone every day so that I don’t forget shit. So I am making this list of resolutions mostly to set a certain order in my life and set clear goals so that maybe, with a little hope and perseverance, I may actually get it done.

1) Complete PMS issue number 13 on my trip to Salem: Lord knows it’s long overdue since my trip was in early October. I have all the written material and all the backgrounds. I just need to sit my ass down and put it together.

2) Go over all my belongings and throw stuff out: I need to do this to get ready for our move to the new apartment in mid-January. But we own so much useless stuff, it’ll take forever to go through it, so we might as well start now.

3) Start eating complete healthy breakfasts: I need to get into that habit because just having tea and cake in the morning does not fit in with the healthy lifestyle I am trying to achieve. Omelette, cheeses, fresh veggies, apple juice (because orange juice gives me heartburn). That’ll be my breakfast of champions!

4) Get a little more in touch with my spiritual side: I am considering reading a short psalm of Tehilim every once in a while. Not really chozeret bitshuva or anything, but just invest a little more in my connection with the Higher Power as She is playing a very important part in my life right now.

5) Cook and bake more: My mom says I am underestimating my potential as a Moroccan culinary genius. Coming from a long and illustrious line of such geniuses (including both my grandmothers, my mom and my aunts) I may have very well inherited that particular gene. I won’t know unless I try it out more often.

12045762_10152983389257471_3634203185435079558_o6) Practice more guitar: Yes I’ve had that resolution a while back and never really followed through with it. But now that I have a new Fender Strat to inspire me, I may actually be able to do it!

7) Complete the photo album of my husband and me: I already got all the photos in order which was a huge feat in itself. Now I need to find a way to put them all together in a pretty photo album (or several ones) and print it.

8) Avoid unhealthy environments: The bar that my husband and I go to every Sunday is filled with smoke. I decided to take an indefinite hiatus from metal night in order to avoid inhaling my way to carbonated lungs. A sad but necessary step.

9) Go to sleep earlier: And wake up earlier as a result. I find that I can achieve much more when my day starts in the a.m. For example, having time to cook my complete breakfast!

10) Power walking with my dog in the morning: Yet another thing I can achieve if I go to sleep earlier and wake up bright and early. I’m a slave to my pillow, seriously. But I should really start my day with an early rise, a healthy breakfast and a power walk, and save my pillow labor for the weekends.

Peace, love and baby steps.

Get Messy!

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Today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. For this reason, from November 25 to December 2, all proceeds from the PMS Mess Etsy shop will be donated to the Jerusalem Rape Crisis Center!

Please support the cause, buy zines, DIY art and postcards, and spread the word!

PMS banner

More abut the shop:

PMS Mess is my new Etsy shop. There, you will find all the items that I produce by hand, sell with freebies, and ship with love!

Messy and magical items in the shop include:

Purple Myrtle Squeegy – my PMS Perzine

PMS cover 1 PMS issue 4 DSC02449 DSC03041

Fallopian Falafel – my compilation zine

Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel Fallopian Falafel

Alternative Jerusalem – a series of awesome postcards I designed

Draining1 Metal Proud1 Slut

Kickass care packages

PMS collection Care Package FF

And more DIY art, such as patches and buttons, coming soon!

All items come with freebies such as feminist zines or minizines or stickers or patches or my band’s CD!

For more info, contact me at fallopian.falafel@gmail.com!