As I am about to turn 30 (in less than three weeks), I am trying to assess what I’ve accomplished and what I strive to accomplish later on. Most of these accomplishments and prospective goals have to do with feminism and my activism in riot grrrl.
If I stop my activism now, when I grow old and my grandchildren ask me what DIY riot grrrl things I’ve done in my lifetime, I can say: “I wrote zines, I wrote letters to other riot grrrls around the world, I was in a riot grrrl band, I attended some riot grrrl gigs, I drew, painted, did some photography, sculpture, sewing, modified clothes a bit, designed logos and flyers, inked the spirit on my skin, joined grrrlVIRUS, participated in feminist rallies and protests representing the movement, and organized a charity event to benefit the Jerusalem Rape Crisis Center.”
Aside from that, I constantly try to think within a riot grrrl frame of mind. Activism is not worth a thing if you’re saying or thinking things that oppose what you try to represent and fight for. That includes making a conscious decision to not laugh at sexist or homophobic jokes, avoid judging other women or girls and their choices, and in fact encouraging them and supporting them in their choices, not participating in conversations that are offensive to women, and attempting to offer rebuttals in defense of women whenever possible.
This is actually much harder to do because it involves changing yourself, changing the way you see yourself in society, and breaking out of the sexist and chauvinistic social standards and internalized inferiority as a woman in this society. These are things I still struggle with, and one of the things I wish to achieve in the near future.
I also wish to write more songs, get a couple more tattoos, try to sell all the things in the Crafts for a Cause shop, and find more riot grrrl shows in Israel. Also, I recently passed by an office supplies store, and since the New Jewish Year is right around the corner, they got a fresh new supply of agendas and diaries, I almost got lost there. I want a notebook or something and hope to start writing a diary again, instead of just a blog.
I was also considering spending more time with my grrrlfriends, but their schedules are crazier than mine. Somehow we never manage to find a time that works out for us, and the prospect of a meeting retreats to the bottom of our priorities list. Maybe at one point, something will work out, but until then, I’ll stick to the things I can do solo.
More than anything, I’m scared that as I get older, apathy will take over. So my goal for post-30 activism is creating an atmosphere of inspiration for myself, being around people, places and objects that keep me riled up and ready to strike with yet another activist project. Feminist literature inspires me, the moon inspires me, my typewriter inspires me… And if I keep with this attitude, I will discover more sources of inspiration as I get older, and apathy will not stand a chance.
Peace, love and Moked’s designed diaries.
PS – I added a new page called Mistress Distress. Check it out and turn up the volume!