I Popped My Cherry With Blueberry

I recently figured out what “categories” was on WordPress and I spent the past several weeks going over all my posts (all 338 of them), and trying to put them in the right categories, which I listed under “Anti-Labels” (see right hand column).

Anyway, I came across the earlier posts I wrote, mostly around 2005, when I was still in university in Montreal, and realised just how big of a pothead I was. If you go back to the December 2004 archive, the first blog post I ever wrote, conveniently titled “Hahahahigh,” was written under the influence. I mean, I still love such trips today, but back then, I was on a completely different level. I honestly think it has to do with the Canadian drug laws, that basically do not exist, as opposed to the Israeli drug laws, which model themselves after the American ones – i.e. get caught with half a seed and find your ass in jail.

It also has to do with the quality of the product. Comparing Canadian pot to Israeli pot is like comparing Jenna Jameson’s breasts to mine. Mine are basically non-existent, and so is Israeli pot. There are no sticky greens in Israel, it’s sad.

Besides that, back then I didn’t restrict myself regarding cash. I was still living with my parents and had no financial obligations, like rent and bills, as I do now. So if I wasn’t spending my money on movie tickets and popcorn or new strings for my guitar, I would exchange a green paper for a green leaf. Mostly it was 30 CAD for 3 gr worth of blueberry – my strain of choice.

I remember today the first time I ever did pot. I was 21 and I didn’t know how to roll a joint (I still don’t), and I also didn’t know how to smoke, and I was kinda scared of it, too. So I took my ex’s advice and drank it as tea. The day I did it was the middle of the week. I had an evening class, so I met up with my ex in the early afternoon to have tea. He knew where to get it and how to make it, and since he was a major pothead, I figured my first drug experience should be with him. The tea wasn’t the most horrible thing I ever ingested, but it was still pretty nasty. I drank the leaves along with it, per my ex’s instructions, and nearly puked.

I didn’t feel anything right away, but the placebo effect gave me a mild buzz. I went back home, had dinner, got ready for my class and headed out, still relatively sober. By the time I made it to the metro, I started feeling weird. It was my vision that was affected first. Everything started moving really slowly. The approaching train seemed to be inflating into the station, instead of rolling into it. I got Chinese eyes as I walked into the train and sat down. All very, very slowly. I was wearing my winter coat and it suddenly dawned on me that I feel inflated, too. The fat winter coat became a part of my body and I thought “Holy shit, I’ve gained weight!” It was the most amazing feeling in the world. It was around the time I was still trying to get over my breakup with my boyfriend, and being high helped me forget about him and the pain. I wanted to feel like this forever.

Somehow, I managed to make it to my class. It was a bio-chemistry class – an elective I had to take to complete my credits. As the teacher explained the division of cells, I understood everything so perfectly and thought: “Yeah, my cells are dividing. I CAN FEEL IT HAPPENING!”

I also totally forgot that my ex told me about the strongest side-effect of weed – MUNCHIES! But during my break, I headed for the nearest vending machine almost instinctively. I weighed my options, and although I just ate a huge dinner, with meatballs, I bought a Coffee Crisp, which was dairy. I never mix meat and dairy, but that evening, I forgot about everything, and that candybar was the best chocolate I ever had. In fact, all other times I drank or smoked weed (in Canada), I had to have a Coffee Crisp readily available for the immediate munchies emergency.

The high lasted about nine hours. I went to sleep with my head still spinning and had some weird dreams I can’t remember. But dude, I will never forget my first time!

Peace, love and Israeli government needs to have a toke and model its laws after the Dutch ones.

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