Of Dogs and Men

OK, people listen up.

I know dogs. I like dogs. I had dogs in my lifetime. I am a dog-walker. I know what dogs look like and I know what they are NOT. They are not human.

I also know people. To my great misfortune, I don’t like them very much. I have to deal with people on a daily basis. I know what they look like and I also know what they are not. Or rather, what they are not supposed to be. And that’s dogs.

So dear people, when I walk with my dog, kindly refrain from barking at me. You are stupid, and you haven’t the slightest idea of just how ridiculous you look. You only serve to frustrate my dog and me.

Forewarning people, if you keep barking at me and my dog, I will have no problem letting go of the leash and let my dog have his way with you. Because another thing I know about dogs is that they bite. And they can bite really hard.

Kids, I understand. Kids have yet to reach a certain level of intelligence, where they have the potential to understand that they are of the human breed, not the canine one. And they have yet to understand that if they bark at a dog, it could end in disaster. 

But as adults, you have the responsibility to make your kids understand that. If your kids see you barking at a dog, they will think it’s ok. They will think that being an idiot is perfectly fine when you come across an animal. Your kids will therefore never reach this level of intelligence where they acknowledge the fact that being human does not involve barking.

Whenever I come across barking people, it only serves to confirm my belief that people suck.

And when I see pictures such as these:

I say dogs rule!

Peace, love and one of these days, I’ll have a puppy just like this one.

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