Holey Shit!

Loopholes, black holes, assholes, Courtney Love and Hole, and doughnut holes. Holes help bring things together. Because we have so much useless shit, like this entry, there has to be an empty place to fit it in, like this space. Holes are necessary for everyday life, such as procreation (sexual organs), communication (mouth and ears), breathing (nostrils), and more.

One type of hole that is completely unecessary is a pothole. Once a bagel is eaten the hole disappears but once the snow melts, potholes reappear. I find myself practically zig-zagging my way across the fucking street in a desperate attempt to not fuck up the suspension in my car. While in my driving classes, my teachers kept telling me to look far ahead, now I have to keep my eyes on the pavement to make sure I don’t fall into a pothole the size of a fucking ditch. If during winter time, people drive slow because of ice and snow, during summer they drive slow because of these inverted speed bumps. The other day, within a 10 minute drive to the bank, I must have come across at least 15 to 20 potholes. And it’s not as if I was driving through a small, narrow, dark and isolated road that nobody uses. It was one of the main streets in my neighborhoods.

It’s very embarassing, too, considering that it is summer and some people travel to Montreal (I don’t know what they’re thinking but that’s besides the point). I drove my dad to the airport a few days ago and the potholes near the airport are horrifying. And it’s on the fucking highway! You drive pretty fast on the highway, and many people use it (duh!). Along with all the garbage, filth and dogshit that reappear fresh after the snow melts, potholes make for the best way to scare tourists away.

I think that just as the municipality tractors get shoveling right after the first snowstorm, so should the construction workers get off their asses and fix those potholes as the first ray of sunshine appears, and these garbage people should get cleaning the streets, pronto. We don’t pay income and land taxes for fucking nothing. Charest should put the taxpayers’ money and those 103 million dollars he cut from education funds to good use, for fuck’s sake. Road rage is bad enough as it is. It shouldn’t be made worse by these Big Bird nests.

On a brighter note, a funny bunny will show you some interesting ways to kill yourself. Enjoy! 🙂


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