BIG time!

I’ve just realized something. Many of the things I like can be easily compared to sex. Aside from having an affinity towards objects that are BIG (i.e. big houses, big cars, big dogs) I also like things that can physically be compared to certain aspects of sexuality. This may sound rather juvenile, although many of these hobbies of mine are some of my favorite aphrodisiacs.

1) Frances Bong:
I’m trying to start a bong collection, but I didn’t get very far yet due to budget restraints. So far, I only have one bong, hand-made, that I got off the street from this woman who makes them (no, she is not a prostitute). I named the bong Frances Bean Cobain (after the daughter of…). In case you haven’t already realized, headshops sell bongs that all look like dildos. Literally, they are shaped like dicks, the reservoir being the scrotum and the top being the head. Aside from making me spontaneously combust, if I use weed with this type of bong, dude, you can’t go wrong. It’s stimulating in every sense of the word. Besides that, how can you say no to a bong like the one in that pic at the bottom? It curves to the left, just the way I like it 😛

2) Guitara:
I’m not the first one to say this, but gueetaars are an extremely sexual instrument. Especially the classical ones. The hole, the curves, the long nec, the head, the smooth surface, stroking it makes pretty sounds, how can you not get aroused playing one of those? Many of my favorite guitarists are also rather hot, and if they were not holding a guitar, I would probably think they’re not. An electric guitar is great because most people hold it at the level of their crotch (see hot chick pic on the bottom). A bass is even better considering its gargantuan size (the size of the strings, the nec, the frets), when you play it, it vibrates… need I say more?

3) Journalism:
Drugs, sex, and other scandles. That’s what journalism is all about. Actually, yellow journalism, but we all like to generalize. How big was that story about Clinton getting his dick sucked? Plus, with a name like "CLInTon" or "Bush," you can easily write a story related to female genetalia, which can get people’s attention because 48 per cent of the world’s population don’t know shitall about the female anatomy. It’s not really their fault, I mean, their brain is not located between their ears, but rather between their legs. But I’m digressing. So basically, nothing gets me off more than nailing the perfect interview, or the perfect lead, or the perfect closing quote. After I complete a story, I feel like having a cigarette, it’s really a rush.

So there you have it. Feel free to share your subtle "sexual" experiences anytime. You know where to go 😉

Peace, love, love and more love.

Pic Sources: http://tompaul.antville.org/stories/136972
                    http://www.weedcity.com/shop/prodtype.asp?PT_ID=129&strPageHistory=cat

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6 thoughts on “BIG time!

  1. I don\’t mean to sound repetitive, but "while I may not agree with what you say, I\’ll defend to the death your right to say it."Welcome to my space :-)Peace.

  2. Dass,You are my sister stoner. You and me need to hang out and take a hit from your phallic bong. Montreal rocks my sox….When I grow up, I want to live there. People who live in Montreal are cool. I live in Toronto and while Toronto is alright and all, Montreal is the best. It feels like home to me. I get homesick for Montreal sometimes. And I\’ve only been there once. I envy you for living there. I wish I did. It has a great aura about it. YOU ROCK!!!! Don\’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Yeah, it\’s their opinion but sometimes other people are judgemental and annoying….so because this is your space, I think I can tell them off. Fuck you Choderent. Unless you have a phallic bong, I don\’t want nothing to do with your sorry ass. Nuff said. :p~~Honeycat~~

  3. Hi Dass!Thanks for dropping by my site…I love seeing new people!On the bong point…several corner stores around here sell them and it always cracks me up when I\’m in line to pay. The things they fashion them after!!!!And you\’re right, I\’d have to trade in my firstborn for one…Damn, what happened to hotknifing and puffing through a cut up 2ltr pop bottle filled with ice cubes? You know, so you get the menthol effect?!!! I love showing that to people…

  4. Pingback: Burning Frying Cooking Baking | ♀ Riot Grrrl ♀ בישראל

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