I’ve been completely uninspired to write in the last few days. I noticed that the only time I can actually write something is if something happened. For example, my last few posts have been about the Pride March, adopting a dog, moving in with my boyfriend, doing the 24-Hour Zine Thing… posts about actively doing stuff.
Other times, I have been able to write about thoughts, plans, musings, even if nothing active has been happening to trigger it… but these days, nothing seems to come to me.
Last night, while my boyfriend went off playing basketball, I wasted a few good hours watching back to back episodes of Fresh Prince. Looking at my dog dozing on the floor, I felt so useless and bored.
Is this what having a writer’s block feels like? I pondered.
Then I decided to take Diamond out for a walk, so I can clear my mind and find some form of inner peace. So in between watching out for cats and pulling at Diamond’s leash, I resumed something that was long overdue – consulting with the inner child.
“Talk to me,” I said.
“This dog is distracting,” she replied with her usual initial resistance. Force of habit.
“I got her, don’t worry about it,” I assured her. “Besides, I know you love her.”
“Yeah,” she laughed. “She’s a riot!”
“So what’s bothering you?” I gently pushed on.
“I’m bored,” she started. “And restless… and I don’t understand why I don’t do anything when my boyfriend is away.”
“It’s not about him, is it?” I asked.
“No! He’s got nothing to do with it,” she confirmed with mild frustration. “I mean, what did I use to do when he wasn’t around?”
“Write, play music, read a book, write some more…” I said.
“Right, but I have no inspiration to write or play, and I don’t have a book to read.”
“Well, what have been trying to write?”
“Blogs?” I started to understand where the problem was. “Nothing else?”
She remained silent for a moment tapping into what was going through my mind.
“What about letters?” I suggested. “You have some on your backlog that need to be written and mailed out. And what about zines? You got some in planning but not in production. You always get inspired when writing a zine. Remember the 24-Hour Zine Thing? That was totally spontaneous and the things you came up with on the spur of the moment were genius!”
“Yeah,” she said with a smile that expressed more relief than anything. “Yeah, that’s not a writer’s block. Fuck writer’s block.”
“You wrote about it in PMS number 4, remember?” I said “When you write on a typewriter or when you write by hand, you get different ideas, different stories, even different vocabulary than when you write a blog. You stimulate a different part of your brain, and express certain things that may not have been expressed otherwise.”
“So all I gotta do is–”
“Stop pulling, Diamond!” I interrupted the inner child, and pulled the dog away from some trash she was on the verge of eating.
“All I gotta do is sit in front of the typewriter and let the words flow!” she resumed.
“It’s as easy as that,” I agreed. “So next time the boy is off doing his basketball thing or anything else, go on to Rose Madder, and tap away as loud as you please.”
As a result of this successful interaction and problem solving discussion with the inner child, I was again at peace. I had a very good night sleep, free of nightmares or any other dreams I can remember. I woke up refreshed, took my time with my morning routine, with some extras on the side – another walk with my dog, hand washing the bathroom rug, washing the dishes, all while singing merrily.
Also, I think that Diamond picked up on this state of inner peace. She was being a very good girl this morning!
Then, eventually I made it to work and banged out another blog post.
So my theory still stands. All I have to do to be inspired to write is whine about how much lack of inspiration I have.
Peace, love and hmm, candlelight typing!